Bringing Home the Bacon and Cooking it too

When I was single and pondering about marriage, the thought of being a Housewife never crossed my mind. I thought it was just too impossible to happen. I -- who never ran out of work; who deemed herself as a dynamic career-oriented person -- am now officially a HOUSEWIFE. A true-blue housewife who kept herself busy today by making her homemade pesto sauce. If only my High School Home Econ teacher could see me now. She will be very proud that her once delinquent student who cheated by submitting a store-bought stuff toy to submit to crafts class is now a certified Homemaker!

My 3-year stint with my regular TV show just ended. With no other projects immediately next in line, I find my calendar now completely FREE. This is such a total opposite of what I’ve been through in the first quarter of 2008. Work, Wedding Preparations, not to mention Family Drama just made my life Chaotic. I was gagged and now I can breathe…

Every morning, my husband and I would wake up at around 6-630AM, depending on how much snooze time we give ourselves. He gives me a peck before getting up to proceed to the bathroom. I stay for a few minutes in bed and slowly rise up to say a quick good morning to God before going down to the kitchen to brew our favorite Kapeng Barako (a sack of coffee beans courtesy of my friend Avie; a wedding gift) and re-heat Joseph’s lunch in the microwave, which I have already prepared the night before. My husband is not really a breakfast eater (nobody in their family is one) much to my dismay because I love to prepare a hearty breakfast. Nevertheless, I definitely never allow him to spring off without taking some coffee and a small sandwich at least.

As the smell of coffee wafts the kitchen, I spread Peanut Butter and Jelly on our favorite brand of bread. (I won’t mention their name, not unless they pay me, hehe). After he’s all dressed up for work, my handsome and oohlala freshly-showered husband joins me at our dining table. I love this breakfast bonding that we are habitually doing now. It’s short yet very sweet. We start off by saying our morning prayer together then we just chat. It’s really amazing how we can come up with something interesting to talk about at 7AM. It’s such a blessing to be able to start your day laughing with the one you love.

After the short coffee chat, I see him out of the door by giving him a kiss and a squeeze on the butt, hehe. Then my 5 year old nephew, Kean (who lives with us by the way while his mom is in the States) wakes up at around 8AM. By that time, his breakfast is already set on the table. While he eats, I prepare his lunch baon and his school clothes. My nephew who I actually call my son because he calls me Mommy anyway is a slllooooow eater so while he battles with his omelette and milk, I do a quick E-mail check and read the headlines on my favorite websites:

http://www.clickthecity.com/ for the latest restaurant & movie reviews and events announcements in the city. Joseph and I rely on this on planning our dates and out of town getaways.

http://www.pep.ph/ for the latest in local showbiz happenings (hey as a TV writer, it’s my job to know what’s the latest on Gretchen Barretto :p )

http://www.eonline.com/ for the latest in Hollywood buzz.

http://www.marthastewart.com/ just to stare in awe at her latest PERFECT crafts and cakes which I can’t POSSIBLY make. I tried! I swear! I’m starting to suspect that Martha keeps a missing ingredient in her recipes, hmmm.

my multiply site http://jillaceous.multiply.com/ for the latest updates on my friends and their other friends. It’s really entertaining to know what people are up to, what they’re thinking about, where they went for the weekend, etc… especially if you’re like me who spends most of her days inside the house.

http://www.asianfoodchannel.com/ for the recipes featured on their shows. This is the new channel that’s currently on default on our Skycable.

And of course, I also quickly browse through the headlines on http://www.yahoo.com/ and http://www.msn.com/

When Kean is finally done with breakfast, he takes his vitamins and asthma medication, brushes his teeth, takes a shower, dresses up then gets picked up by the school service at around 10-10:30AM. When he’s gone, that’s the only time I can go back to my bedroom to do my in-depth daily devotional. After that, the rest of the day is filled with cleaning the WHOLE house especially the kitchen, sorting the laundry, picking up Kean’s toys, and experimenting with a new recipe. In between, I chat up with friends over YM. Once or twice a week, I go over at Shopwise to get our groceries. When I have extra time, I pick up from where I left off with the books I’m currently reading, OR just channel-surf (who knows CinemaOne might be playing “Bagets” or Sharon & Miguel Rodriguez’s “To Love Again” hahaha. I can’t even get enough of the “Working Girls but that’s another blog altogether )

At around 3PM, Kean arrives from school. I FORCE him to take a nap just so I could extend my ME TIME. Then when he wakes up after an hour, I let him watch some Disney and Nickelodeon for about an hour. During this time, I start lining up the ingredients for dinner’s main course on the kitchen counter. When his cartoons time is up, I make him go up to his bedroom and give him some workbooks to get busy with. I check him from time to time while the food is simmering on the stove.

Joseph arrives home at around 6-630PM. We sit down for dinner at around 7PM. After which Kean goes through his daily evening routine – brush teeth, take shower, milk, write in his small notebook journal then go to bed and say his prayer. Oh and he needs to have some music while he’s dosing off and he always requests for the 70s classics: Blue Magic’s “Sideshow” and Tavares’s “A Penny for your Thoughts”. Man, this kid’s got some soul!

After tucking Kean in bed, I take off my “mommy” hat and put on the role of “LOVER”, hehe. I join Joseph in the living room where we just snuggle and watch TV together. We love watching Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Dave Letterman, Conan O’Brien and Ellen De Generes. Oh he loves the Asian Food Channel also. We talk, laugh, chill out on regular days. When there’s something serious to talk about, Joseph makes it a point to turn off the TV. We finally head for bed at around 11PM. What happens next is… okay that’s enough.

And that’s the usual picture of my daily life as a housewife. I thought I’d go bonkers doing the same thing over and over again but I was so mistaken. In fact, I confess, I love staying at home. There’s something so affirming when my husband and my little boy comes home with an empty food container. It feels so good to see that the house is clean and that the kitchen counter is spick and span. I find some satisfaction when I am able to color coordinate our clothes in the closet and also arrange them by category. I feel so happy when I find a new recipe and discover that I have all the necessary ingredients in my pantry. Wow, my spice rack is actually extensive.

Some people might find this TOO RETRO. A 50s mindset that is ideal yet impractical and untrue. Well, to be honest, I was one of those people before. And yet again, the old saying holds true – Don’t judge until you’ve walked in the other person’s shoes. I agree that some women may not be natural Martha Stewarts. I’m not either. But in my case, I discovered that I had a hidden homemaker in me, and she’s finally out. With all honesty, I really love where God has put me right now. I know He intended to give me some quiet time so that I can devote more time for Him and for my family, and also for myself.

Recently, I got some calls from a number of QTV shows. They’re all asking me to write for them. These were the type of shows that I have always wanted to write for. I asked about the working schedule and the pay of course. Honestly, we could really use the extra income now since Joseph is the only fixed earner in the household. The offer is tempting but it would definitely put an end to the domestic paradise that I am experiencing right now. Working for a TV network makes the word “harassing” and “demanding” too diminutive.

This made me think about Proverbs 31:11 “Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him but help him with all of her life.”

There’s a little bit in me that wants to reject the offer and just ask Joseph to let me stay at home. But would that be fair to him? On the flipside, if I do take their offer, what would happen to my family? Are we going to go back on take-outs and food delivery? How about my quiet time with God?

The management from my last TV show said that my new life priorities don’t seem to match the demands of the show anymore. So that’s why they thought it best to let me go and hopefully find me another show that would fit my writing abilities and my “priorities”. Well, true that I have been more family-oriented in the past months. I did try to juggle work and family though BUT… it seems that it’s really quite a CHALLENGE to achieve some BALANCE. Ok, let me rephrase that. I conclude (at least for myself) that it’s IMPOSSIBLE. Something will always suffer. And in my case, my work suffered in Shall We Dance.

Now that I have another chance to resuscitate my career, this time in the far more demanding world of QTV, I feel divided. How can I be my husband’s perfect partner? By helping him bring home the bacon? Or by “cooking the bacon?” What do you think?