Rx God's Grace

The last 3 days proved to be the longest and most physically painful 3 days of my recent life. I don’t remember getting sick this bad lately. After my first severe attack of chills last Friday, Saturday turned out well. Despite the fever, migraine and pain on my lower right back, I was basically functional. But that all changed on Sunday morning. While in church, tremors conquered my body again. This time Joseph had to rush me to the emergency room. Soon there was vomiting and blood in my urine. I went through blood tests, urinalysis, sonogram... I don’t really understand all the medical mumbo-jumbo that were presented to me, but basically I had a kidney infection. The doctors put me on HEAVY medication which put me in bed since then. This is the first time I ever got strength to get up and give people an update on what has happened.

While I was in bed, totally in shambles (Oh you should have seen me! But it’s good thing you didn’t, hehehe) I was floating in and out of prayer and self-pity. I think it was due to the meds but there were times when I was DELIRIOUS! Being sick was really a BIG SPIRITUAL BATTLE. Negative and horrible thoughts were forming in my head. I could hear voices. I was imagining a lot of atrocious scenarios. There were times when I couldn’t figure out whether I was dreaming or awake. I really got scared, and all I could utter out of my weakness is “Lord help me!”

In my sickness, God revealed me to a very precious TRUTH about Grace. He led me to read 2 Corinthians 12. It’s about Paul’s “Thorn in the Flesh”. I have read this passage before but this time, a new meaning has come forth in light of my current state. I was struck most especially with that small part in verse 9 “…My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness…”

Oh GRACE! If there’s one BIG TRUTH that God revealed to me in this ordeal is this – ONLY HE CAN GIVE GRACE! No human being can!

You see, what made this sickness a more pain in the neck was the unbelievable LACK of EMPATHY from people. You know I am a freelancer so I have several “bosses”. And through prayers, I have always managed to keep things together and meet my deadlines with them. But what can I do when I am really out of commission? Believe it or not, even though Joseph already told my “bosses” that I can’t come to the phone; that I can’t get out of bed; that I am SICK period… none of these messages seemed to have penetrated their ears because they kept on calling… asking for a revised copy of this and that… asking me to coordinate this and that… requiring to me go to this event… They even showed some resentment on why I had to be sick in the time of deadlines! Uhm, you know if I had my way, why would I even choose to do that?

It was just so disheartening to further realize that this industry where I’m in don’t care about people at all. Bigots would say “If you can’t take this industry, then it’s not for you!” Kelangan dito, halang bituka mo! I remember an old colleague telling me in my earlier years in the Entertainment field. They say Media is evil. I believe Media per se is not evil – it’s the people running it.

These people didn’t extend even an inch of grace to my ailing condition BUT GOD’S GRACE pulled me through this ordeal. I just thought, grabe, if I didn’t have God in my life then I would have been bitter at Him for making me sick at a very wrong time. If I didn’t have God, I would have taken my bosses’ resentment personally but instead I just prayed for them. As leaders of a workforce, they are very important in lifting the morale and the spirituality of their people. We’ve seen leaders in the Bible and in many history books who in their lack of nobility have paved the way for their kingdom’s fall.

Amidst the added pressure from my work during my illness, God’s GRACE proved to be the more powerful medication to my ailing spirit.


P.S.
First of all, thank you to my Co-Heirs group who prayed for me. This remarkable recovery was brought about by your intercession, my dear sisters in Christ. And I believe even the boys in Joseph’s small group prayed for me too. Thank you, guys. Thank you also to my Palarca family in Bohol who are always my prayer partners. And of course to my wonderful husband who has proven this early that we’d be together “in sickness and in health”.