The CCBC Golden Worker Awards go out to...

July is over!!! And CCBC just celebrated its 50th year for the whole month. And of course, my "baby" is finally out! The commemorative book was released last July 26 at the Grand Anniversary Celebration Show! Praise God for 168 pages of high standard coffee table book quality! Here are the front and back covers. And some of my favorite spreads...



The commemorative book was my debut into church ministry and the experience was truly indescribable. To say that I learned a lot is an understatement. It changed me. It humbled me in ways I could not possibly imagine. It was an exhilarating adventure. And the best part is I did not go on this journey alone. More than the challenges that came our way, it was the people that I was with that made the quest much more meaningful. When problems arise, characters are put to test… relationships are shaken… friendships are put on the brink… and our motivations get muddled up. I was not perfect in handling this ministry. God knows how many times I threw a tantrum here and there about many things that were going wrong in the project. Looking back I am deeply ashamed for such selfish actions and I am publicly apologizing for it.

Finally, the commemorative book is out and though we cannot please everyone, more praises were received than criticisms. Gracious people have been sending their messages to me. I thank you all for the encouragement. But the truth is this book would not have been possible without the extra grace and tireless support of some very special people involved in this project. If they had not been a blessing to me while I was already going nuts over this ministry, then I might have had quit. So tonight, I’d like to honor these people with a few tokens that I have prepared for them.

I actually have “Awards” for these “unsung heroes” and tokens for EACH writer and contributor but for tonight I’m just going to name the TOP 6 Awards. Here goes…

The GODLY GENIUS AWARDS goes to 2 people. One is for doing an amazing job in bringing to life our vision for the book cover and one is for being our ever-reliable walking encyclopedia and historian when it came to pinning down some dates and facts for the book’s content. The GODLY GENIUS AWARDS go to CHRIS TARROJA and KUYA BOY DIRECTO!


The YUMMY Y.A.M Worker Awards. I call them YUMMY kasi “ANG SARAP” nilang ka-trabaho. And I am blessed to have them as my fellow workers in the Y.A.M. (Young Adults Ministry) These are the people who work without questions… who work with a joyful heart… I am really blessed with these people because when I asked them to write for the book, it only took them a day or two to submit their assignments. Proof that God and CCBC has blessed them immensely making them excited to share their blessed stories. Such a comfort to be working with such diligent and talented people. The YUMMY Y.A.M. WORKER AWARDS go to ARLYN LAPUZ, ARNOLD BAÑEL, and FREYA “WYNN-WYNN” SILVA!



This next award is called the GREAT COMEBACK AWARD. You see this project started out with a lot of volunteers but as the enemy shook us in many ways, only a few (very very few) survived to serve. This particular person fell off the saddle. But God wouldn’t take NO for an answer so by His Grace this talented individual emerged from the ashes, and went back on board. The GREAT COMEBACK AWARD goes to JULIUS VALIENTE!

For being such a great example of what a “committed member” means; for being mindful of the deadlines and for saying that she doesn’t want to disappoint God by dishonoring her assigned tasks… The UNBREAKABLE VOW AWARD goes to Tita VESTA TOLENTINO!

For being my prayer partner and for continuously encouraging me through her comforting emails and text messages, and for always lending that infectious sunny smile that melts away that murky cloud over my head… The ETERNAL SUNSHINE AWARD goes to Tita RICA TARROJA!

For not giving up despite ALL the challenges; for putting up with my directions, my tantrums, my frustrations, etc etc…; for being everyone’s Go-To Girl in all of the Grand Celebration preps; for being the ultimate Unsung Hero of this event; for being the MOST HARRASED & STRESSED; for showing us what a Real Servant of God really is… The NEVER SAY DIE AWARD goes to APOL CASUPANAN!

Because of these people, I am blessed to be called a CCBCer. To God Be the Glory!

We are at War!

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Ephesians 6:12

Yesterday, I received a distressed email from my Circle of Care shepherd, Gracey, asking for intercessory prayers for a lot of concerns regarding the grand celebration preparation of our church CCBC:

"We are now at the last stretch of the Grand Celebration preparations. We need your prayers for all the people God had handpicked to serve Him on the July 26 production…There are still so many projects that still need extra hands (AVP editors, tarpaulin designers and additional PAs). Sponsorship committee for food and flowers (in cash) is still looking for able givers who can share to cover all the rehearsal food and the special flower arrangement that will complement the overall design of the stage. Choir, dancers and bands still need more time to polish performances; to memorize songs and the choreography. Song leaders Andrei, Apple, Popol and Terry also need prayers in memorizing their songs and spiels as well. Song leaders Maya and Ptr. Reymac need your intercession for their daughter Meemai who has contracted typhoid fever, ruling out dengue despite a dengue outbreak in Isabela where she is right now. The couple has not rehearsed yet with the choir as Ptr. Reymac is still coming home next week. The band and choir have not rehearsed together yet, so they will need extra time to merge their practices within these remaining 3 weeks. Our script writer Michelle and music arranger Kahlil need extra grace to write/arrange creatively and speedily. Our event director, Ptr. Philip, needs sustained strength and divine creativity to put together the entire program. Our attendance to rehearsals and regular meetings are easier done with good health and favorable circumstances at home, and in our respective workplaces. Kindly ask the Spirit to lead you to better pray for/with us. We have less than a month...Please intercede!"

I immediately prayed… the Spiritual Warfare is indeed leveling up…

I sighed deeply but still praised God for this great privilege to serve Him. Gracey, like me, is also a committee head for the anniversary celebration. She’s in charge of the Culmination Night’s Musical Presentation while I was tasked to do the Commemorative Book. Aside from her prayer request, she’s also had her own challenges in the past months. Whenever she was about to do something for the preparation, her two kids would get hospitalized, and all sorts of domestic trouble would hound her. I’m pretty sure all the other committee heads have experienced similar incidents since signing up. To quote Ptr. Reymac in his e-mail this morning about his family’s own spiritual battle, “The fact is, what we are experiencing now is just part and parcel of many other stories of members going through battles in the process of offering services to God in this celebration. There is purging, purifying, refining and a continuous reminder that we have to do everything by His Spirit (Neither by might nor by our power)”

I’ve already blogged about my so-called “baptism of fire” with the ministry, and told you about the spiritual warfare I naively plunged into, which I was only able to survive by God’s power and grace! If it was just me, victory would have been bleak. Praise God, the book is now with the printer but after reading Gracey’s SOS, this is definitely the call of the Great Commander, our Almighty God, to remain on our guards; the bigger battle is only just beginning. Don the Armor of God – PRAY without ceasing!!!

When I was a new Christian, the term “spiritual warfare” sounded a bit fantastical for me. I foolishly thought that it only meant demonic possessions of the “Exorcist” movie sort. Although spiritual warfare exists in the unseen, supernatural dimension, where God is all-powerful and Satan is in revolt, it has very real, tangible, and tactile manifestations. It took me a while to realize that once you become a Christian the rest of your life here on earth becomes one long spiritual battle. By accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, Satan had lost us… and so he wants us back, by hook or by crook!

Desperate, the only way for him to convince us that Christian life (devoting ourselves to kingdom building) is very inconvenient is by setting up traps and tripwires to annoy and anger us… destroying our gadgets when we need them, using unknowing people to discourage us, giving us trouble with our secular professions to distract us, making our loved-ones sick, drenching our wallets dry, and muddling our minds with negative thoughts, and staining our hearts with greedy and selfish motivations. Simply said – Evil does not want us to succeed in accomplishing God’s work. By making us frustrated and fatigued, it wants us to give up, and ultimately hate, and turn our backs on our “walk” with God; become a backslider and live in abundance, according to earthly pleasures.

When I was doing the commemorative book, I experienced all of the above EXCEPT THAT I was not won to the other side. Praise God! Through fervent intercession by my prayer warriors, the anguish inside me was calmed down. The Holy Spirit took away my blindfold and saw that the pesky circumstances happening in my life when I was hard at work on the book were part of the devil’s plot. The devil knows me because before I received Christ, I was its possession. So it knows how to tick me off… it knows my weaknesses… it knows my dark past… it knows my unconfessed sins therefore it knows how to bribe my soul. I realized now that all my complaints on the people involved and all the circumstances revolving around the commemorative book were all DECEPTIONS by the enemy. So now I am so sorry for unfavorable things said and done. And while humans may not be easy to forgive, the Lord’s pardon is overflowing to the humble and repentant.

Christian Life is a daily spiritual battle. And as a new recruit to God’s platoon, I feel ill-equipped for the war. It’s even daunting to know that we are outnumbered here on earth. But like the very young untrained soldiers hastily sent to the brutal WWII, like the Pevensie siblings stepping up to defend Narnia, and the Fellowship of the Ring vowing to bring back order in Middle Earth, our victory over evil (inside us and around us) is not based on our own strengths, skills, and smarts; but rather on the Power of our Faith. The Scripture is our weapon. And while that sword given to us may be too big for us to wield, knowing and believing that God has faithfully entrusted us with it is the muscle that would make us strong enough to defeat the enemy. Have faith my fellow CCBCer, and all my siblings in Christ who are AT WAR spiritually every second, minute and hour. The Lord is with us! We will WIN!

My Baptism of Fire... The Untold Story of the CCBC Book

Last July 2 was the official 50th birthday of CCBC (my church) and guess what this was also the day I paid THE much-awaited visit to the printing press to submit the 1st half of the Final Art for its golden anniversary commemorative book, in which I have been “privileged” to be its Headitor – Head & Editor, a term borrowed from Mariel, a blogger friend from NY.

And of course, as expected, this day didn’t go without any glitch – I lost a job… I lost a phone… and lost half of my wits! Whew! Welcome to Ministry Work – that’s what the blinking sign says in my head. Allow me first to tell you how I ended up carrying this cross anyway…

It was roughly around the last quarter of 2008 when my church invited me for a brainstorming session for the upcoming 50th Anniversary which was still several months away from that time. Lots of exciting ideas were thrown into the table, and one of these was this book. I don’t want to take the entire credit for the idea but I remember being one of those who were very enthusiastic about coming up with a coffee table book to chronicle the history of CCBC. At that time, the group was egging me to be its writer. I thought, oh well, since I have been praying for a ministry from God wherein I can definitely use my skills to serve Him then this might be it. Although, nothing was formalized, the seed of burden was already planted in my heart.

Then 2009 came, and my husband and I finally received a Challenge Letter from the CCBC Office – to head the commemorative book project. The eager beaver in me almost didn’t bat an eyelash in saying “yes!” Good thing I had a husband who’s been a seasoned ministry worker (who practically grew up in CCBC) to stop me in my running tracks. He didn’t discourage me but he was also quick to warn about the journey ahead. I remember him saying, “… get ready for a spiritual battle!” Okay this might not be the example you were expecting to hear but I felt like I was Frodo determined to protect the One Ring. I “theoretically” knew it was going to be a tough job but I never thought it would actually drive me nuts! Here was how the ride became wild…

We launched the call for writers, artists, proofreaders, etc for the commemorative book as soon as we signed up to head the team. I was overwhelmed and felt pretty blessed with the good turnout of volunteers for the commemorative book. Of course we were so grateful to God for poking the hearts of these people – especially those pew warmers – to finally step up and become part of His Kingdom Building. Since we were initially gifted with an impressive roster of talents, it was but natural to DREAM BIG. We wanted to make it super special… We wanted to make it oozing with this generation’s creativity… We wanted it to be the BEST! It is the 50th Anniversary after all. It only happens once!

But when our ship finally began its voyage, rough seas soon met us without warning. Before we knew it, commitments of the staff became shaky and one by one our volunteers jumped ship – some bade farewell while others just mysteriously disappeared; and one even rocked the boat. This even became worse when I started assigning them work to do. Deadlines were ignored, and my e-mails were not replied to. Since we all have our daily grind to get busy with, we made it a rule to use the Internet as our major means of communication. When I wasn’t generating the response I was looking for, my initial reaction was exasperation. I thought how could they dishonor their commitment to the team, and most of all to God? I muttered in my head like a child, complete with a big pout painted on my face. I started becoming more irritable when work was piling up on me and helping hands were becoming scarce. All of them suddenly became too busy to do this ministry but how about me? I have a living too! I also have a career that demands a lot of my time. As a freelancer, income only comes in when I actually work.

On the surface, it may look like typical human negligence on their part and personality clashes among us but underneath, unbeknownst to me and everybody else for that matter, the ENEMY had in fact already deployed his demonic armada. The spiritual battle has begun…

So one day I woke up and realized that the grand commemorative book project had already lost its writers and artists. So off the drain went our lofty artsy-fartsy concepts for it. So we were “forced” to rethink the whole MTV-ish treatment and go to a much simpler direction. I was hesitant at first because the truth is I didn’t what the 50th Anniversary souvenir book to be no different than the ones published for the 40th and the 30th anniversaries. It was my own pride refusing to budge and at the same time my misguided passion to offer the grandest of grand to the Lord. I was of course mistaken and I would learn all that much later.

Pressure was increasing… While my own plans weren’t coming through, God’s plan on the other hand was taking shape. Unfortunately, I was too caught up in my own melodrama to notice His movements. I was already complaining “Lord, this is your book! You tell me how it should look like!” And guess what? On that same week, the Lord lead me to a magazine stand in the mall and found this last copy of the SM 50th Anniversary magazine. When I opened the pages, I thought I heard angels singing. This is it! God wanted this design for the CCBC Book! The layout was much simpler and cleaner – none of the razzle-dazzle artwork I was looking for – but it was elegantly beautiful.

I immediately went to my printer to discuss printing costs for the new specifications. I’ve written for publications before and even much recently but to be honest, the last time I was dealing closely with the printing press people themselves was about 15 years ago (yes in High School!) when I was the Editor-in-Chief of our school paper. Technology has definitely gone a long way and the variety of stock has become too numerous for any newbie. Although I’m not exactly a dummy, I sure learned a lot about the different new kinds of paper, finishing, and layout design software that’s being used in the industry now. So I finally got my new price quote. It was reasonable enough so I presented it to the Church Anniversary Committee for approval. A breakthrough at last…

The original concept of the book was to highlight 50 Milestones of CCBC, thus we took inspiration from the ‘stones of remembrance’ in Joshua 4. But that concept required heavy research and most of the writing would be feature types. With Joseph, me, Tita Vesta (Tolentino), and Tita Rica (Tarroja) left as the last men standing out of the 20 original staff members, we surrendered to the fact that we could not do 50 stories all by ourselves. So we re-conceptualized without straying too much from the ‘Stones of Remembrance’ theme. We still wanted to come up with 50 stories to symbolize the 50 years but who would help us write them? Then God whispered what He wanted for His book. He told me to let the ministry workers write their memoirs. And so it dawned on me – since God has blessed this church with 50 years of faithfulness, it’s definitely time for its members to personally praise Him by sharing their ministry testimonies.

So we began tapping the movers and shakers of every ministry and Circle of Care that we felt deserving of the spotlight for this celebration. Instead of highlighting the past, we decided to focus more on what we have right now. The past souvenir programs have already immensely chronicled our history anyway. We felt that merely putting together old photos and attaching captions to them was bland too. We didn’t want to come up with just another yearbook. We wanted something personal… So we asked these ministry workers – from leaders to members – to share their CCBC stories. The book was going to be anthology of memoirs.

What I thought would make our work load lighter turned out to be a bigger hassle. Although I know that none of these people were ‘writers’ to begin with I still somehow expected that the assignments would be relatively easy because they’d just be writing about their personal experiences anyway. But much to my dismay, deadlines were once again not met. My production calendar was becoming tighter and tighter as each day passed by without any progress. Time was running out but we barely had five memoirs in our hand, and we still had to produce 50! It almost came to the point when my husband and I considered dropping the whole 50 stories thing. Nobody’s sending their stories so maybe nobody cares so why should we care?

On the outside, I was bitching like any editor faced with a deadline. But in the inside, I was crying for many reasons. I dug deeper to check my motivations too. Personally, there was a lot at stake for me. I confess that aside from the hunger to serve God, there was also the craving for approval. I have said so many times here in my blog that marrying my husband also made me marry not just his family, but also his much bigger family – his church. And like the new in-law, I oftentimes still find myself adjusting to my new kin. It was like this 50th Anniversary was the annual Thanksgiving Dinner and as the new member of the family I was cajoled into preparing the spread’s piece de resistance. And we all know that anybody in the same situation would want to do it right because nobody in her right mind would want to be forever remembered as “The one who burnt the turkey!”

This book was my “turkey!” My reputation as a writer, as a wife of a current board member, as a daughter-in-law of one CCBC’s finest women leaders, as a new Christian who’s supposed to be impassioned with Kingdom Building, was at stake. It didn’t even help that some people also doubted if my capacity as “a baby Christian” would be doctrinally qualified to run this project. In the Media Industry, you’re only as good as your last job. I was stupid to think that the same thing applies in church. I forgot all about God’s grace.

Finally, the stories and photos trickled in. As expected, several of them lacked that certain creativity that any natural writer would have added in; while some barely told a “story” at all. I knew what they wanted to say but of course as non-writers weaving words and thoughts to achieve a beginning, middle, and end was easier said than done… or in this case “written!” At first I thought, well if the stories didn’t come in this late then editing them would have been fine for our schedule. Fixing the articles to achieve their brevity would put me on another backlog so I dreaded it. I had to edit 50 stories, not to mention, write some of them too, and time was against me. But I had no choice. So I went through each memoir, and slowly but surely God revealed me to me why I had to stay; and why I was the one called for this duty.

As each memoir landed in my Inbox, amazing and inspiring stories of breakthroughs and blessings unfolded right before me… and soon I found myself falling in love with CCBC.

Reading the memoirs was like opening a lost diary of a grandmother whom I never knew. It made me care more… and it made me want to do this RIGHT. So after much hissy-fit on the deadlines, coupled with all the domestic drama happening in my life, PRAYER put me back on track. I realized that even if I wanted to offer a fine commemorative book to God, its aesthetics would be worthless in the absence of a pure heart. I was even more convicted after listening to God through Pastor Phil’s message about producing work that’s GOLD. It was all about doing Work that GLORIFIES GOD… Work that is out of OBEDIENCE… Work that is motivated by LOVE… and Work that makes DISCIPLES. Work that is GOLD! Like gold, ministry work had to be put on fire to test its purity (1 Corinthian 3:14). The commemorative book became a Baptism of Fire for me.

I was rejuvenated after that and stepped on the gas pedal! But the enemy also went full speed ahead! Suddenly my very important flash disk was missing. I have already picked out some digital photos from the stacks of CDs from Apol (in charge of Research & Documentation for the entire Anniv), and have already categorized them in folders. All of these sorted and labeled materials were in that flash disk! Now that it’s missing, I have to go back to square one! Argh! I knew I should have kept a back-up in my hard drive but my laptop was as cluttered as my life back then. Anyway, I was able to fix that but there was yet another roadblock to tackle – we didn’t have a Layout Editor yet!

Julius A.K.A Sosoy was supposed to lead the layout team but conflicts in schedule got in the way. The other graphic artists in church were also MIA. Chris, Tita Rica’s son, was able to step up again to do the cover design but we still needed someone to do the inside pages. We had no choice but to hire a professional in lieu of the unavailable volunteers. So we prayed for a layout editor and God brought us Elijah dela Peña (his name alone gave me heaps of hope!) It took a while before we were able to get our schedules aligned to meet and discuss the project so I was beginning to get desperate. But the Lord told me to hold on and wait. So finally, with just barely a month to go before our target date of release, we finally met Elijah. The cards were immediately laid on the table – our calendar was extremely tight. Even if Elijah was a gifted fast worker, we still needed extra hands. Guess who the Lord sent to save the day? We learned that Elijah was actually a colleague (a direct subordinate) of Julius, our former layout editor. So now, Julius had no choice but to “prove” himself now because it would be quite a shame if his staff would turn out to be a better worker than him. Haha! The Lord sure has a clever sense of humor! (We love you Sosoy!)

So we were finally on a roll. We were about to layout a 164-page book in one week! How? More than our skills pooled together – God was the chief artist! Through a lot of intercession by our prayer warriors (you know who you are) we made it to the last stretch! There were a lot of challenges along the way which I wrongly took against some people involved… only to realize that everything had been a SPIRITUAL BATTLE! I regret blowing my top off and expressing my selfish complaints; digging myself in a much deeper hole every time I did it. So I wasn’t only stressed out with the project’s progress, I was also becoming depressed and guilty about my mood swings.

Finally, we were on the verge of victory! Half of the Final Artwork has been done and ready for the printer’s proofing. By July 2, Elijah, Julius and I have lost several nights of good sleep already. That day alone I just had about a couple of hours sleep but I had to bring the DVD of files over at the printer’s. So with only practically 30% of my brain functioning and with an almost-senile cab driver who didn’t know how to go to Panay avenue, it was like running towards the end zone with shackles on my legs.

Alas! I got to the printer and submitted the files just in time. But just when I was about to relax and move on, I realized that my other phone (the one I use for family) was missing, while the other phone (the one I use for business) received a message from one of my clients saying, my project with them has been cancelled because I’ve been out of reach for the past few days. Argh! I was so caught up with the CCBC Book that I totally forgot about my work. Now with the possible income vanishing in thin air matched with my urgent necessity to buy another phone, I’m suddenly on deficit. And ironically, my missing flash disk suddenly showed up out of nowhere, just when I had practically no use over it now.

I was just too tired to feel upset. I trudged back home wondering how I figured myself in this situation. Oh I remember… I PRAYED FOR A MINISTRY, didn’t I? Slowly I sank and went down to my knees. I felt the Cross on my shoulders and His words permeated my soul, “So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say ‘We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do’.” (Luke 17:10)

As of this writing, the 50th Anniversary Commemorative Book of CCBC is already in the hands of our trusted printer. I have learned so much not just about Ministry work but also about myself through this journey. I kid my husband that it’s like giving birth to our first child. It was an intense labor but it was all worth it. Countless mishaps happened because the enemy knows many will be blessed with the stories... many will be inspired to take part in ministries... and many hearts will be warmed up to serve the nations. The enemy threw some punches but God made us dodge the blows and filled us with the power to get back on our feet. Whew! What a fight! What a spiritual battle!

It is only now when I am seeing the book taking shape that I realized what a privilege it was to have been called by God to do this. I wasn’t perfect in obeying the Lord in this endeavor so I can’t take any credit for this book at all. The only perfect thing was His plan. He planned for all of my challenges to happen; plotting all those obstacles along the way… May the best of Jill win! And by the grace of God, I survived the fire, leaving only real GOLD. I’ve been put to test… purified… prepared for the next level.

This is just a draft of the front & back cover of the commemorative book.
Books will be available on July 26, 2009

Due for a Check-Up

Last Sunday, our Senior Pastor opened his message with Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me Oh God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” It was the answer I was waiting for God to reveal to me the whole week.

I’ve been feeling ill lately – physically and spiritually. I’m not very fond of going to the doctor because I dread finding out what’s wrong with my body. I don’t like to feel sorry for bad habits in the past that have now taken toll of my health. This is pretty much the same reason why people don’t want to read and understand the Bible. It convicts us. It reflects our sins. It gives us the real deal about our spiritual state.

To quote our Pastor, “Salvation is just the beginning of a relationship with God. After coming to faith in Christ, a person should develop a deeper friendship with the father, learn more spiritual truth, and begin to serve the Lord.”

Having just received the Lord 3 years ago, I am what they would call a baby Christian. And like most babies I need milk. In this case I need spiritual milk to help me grow. Hence I do the fundamental steps to obedience such as being involved in Bible studies and do my part in Kingdom building. But also like any baby, my immunity is weak and diseases can actually kill me. And to be honest I think I’ve been hit with the fatal spiritual flu.

I’ve been struggling with frustration and discouragement this week with my new church. I’ve been tasked by God to handle an important ministry for its golden jubilee. And from starting strong the project’s now almost running on empty.

I want to give up but for the past days God has been very firm to me every time I sought His word for answers – DON’T STOP! And all I could do is cry… My husband has been telling me to resign from the task already but I told him that as much as this is such a big cross to carry, I also would not be at peace leaving it in disarray. And more importantly, I don’t think I would ever have the face to show God for abandoning His work.

But human as I am, my patience has been stretched to some uncomfortable degree already. I even felt some prejudice. I’ve been hearing people questioning why I had to be the one who’s in charge when I’m just a newbie… When I haven’t even taken half of the spiritual growth courses yet… When I’m just a “baby” Christian… What do I know about our church’s history, let alone write about it? I admit NONE. But that was exactly why I was excited to hold the rein. I was looking forward to getting an up close and personal encounter with my new family – like a baby seeking its mother’s milk for the first time.

Unfortunately the experience wasn’t that sweet. I found that there are also uninspired and apathetic people in church like outside. And now I understand why a lot of Christians get burned in their own churches. I know someone who practically grew up Baptist but now refuses to introduce herself as Born Again. She’s gone to a totally different direction because she got sick of the hypocrites in their church. Well I don’t blame her. Zealots do run amok. And people holier than thou can easily turn you off.

But you know what as much as I accept this sad reality I also know that they are just people. We should not lean our spiritual fortitude on human testimonies alone. To err is human! Most of us will say that Alexander Pope said that but every page in the Bible has that message. Born Again or not we are all still sinners saved by God’s Grace alone…

Today I asked God to take away the viruses of anger and resentment that has infected my heart. Like an infant fragile without its mother, I know I need to stay in this church’s arms. I don’t have to worry because I realized that people alone don’t make the church… God’s Word is all the vaccination that I need to withstand the diseases that threaten my renewed life.

Saving Someone from Spiritual Suicide

Even Heaven cried with us… Today, as the sky kept the usual March sunlight and sent fort some whimpering rain, my friends and I at church are grieving. We just lost a sister. The sadder thing even, we didn’t lose her to physical death… we lost her spiritually.

But I know our sadness doesn’t even compare to God’s grief right now. Fortunately our God is the God of all and his mercy endures forever; his power is supreme. In overwhelming times like these, there’s nothing else we can hang onto but His comforting Word. This morning, as I looked at the clock as if an impending doom was besetting upon us, God brought me to read the Book of Hosea. And there was Ephraim, an unrepentant backslider who just like our dear friend chose to follow her way instead of God’s Way.

Ephraim was a child of God – Ephraim and Manaseh were sons of Joseph. Ephraim was the younger son. When Joseph brought the two of them to his father Jacob Ephraim was selected for the double portion blessing meant for firstborns. As a result of this blessing, he prospered at least 10 times more than his elder brother. Unfortunately, his prosperity made him to forget God. After series of warnings, God left him alone. Just like Ephraim, my friend was leading a very flourishing ministry when her own strife took the better off her.

I followed Prophet Hosea’s account of Ephraim’ story and through A.C. Nixon’s “Through Night to Morning” Sermons, this is what God revealed to me... When a Christian backslides, he becomes like Ephraim who is:

• GOD-FORSAKEN. "Ephraim is joined to idols, let him alone" (Hosea 4:17)
• DESOLATE. "Ephraim shall be desolate in the day of rebuke" (5:9)
• OPPRESSED. "Ephraim is oppressed and broken in judgment" (5:11)
• LIVING A LIE. "They commit falsehood" (7:1) "Ephraim compasseth me about with lies" (11:12)
• INCONSISTENT. "Ephraim is a cake not turned" (7:8)
• FOOLISH AND COWARDLY. "Ephraim also is like a silly dove without heart" (7:11)
• SELFISH. "[Ephraim] is an empty vine; he bringeth forth fruit unto himself" (10:1)
• UNSATISFIED. "Ephraim feedeth on wind, and followeth after the east wind" (12:1)
• VAINGLORIOUS. "When Ephraim spake trembling, he exalted himself" (13:1)

For such a backslider there is no hope, so long as he is impenitent, but hope dawns the moment he returns to GOD, and confesses his sin. "O, Israel, return unto the Lord thy God, for thou hast fallen by thine iniquity. Take with you words, and turn to the LORD: say unto him, Take away all iniquity, and receive us graciously" (14:1-2). After such a full confession, GOD begins to deal with His penitent child in the most gracious and tender manner:

• HE HEALS. "I will heal their backsliding" (14:4)
• HE LOVES. "I will love them freely."
• HE DRAWS NEAR. "I will be as the dew unto Israel" (14:5)
• HE GIVES GROWTH. "He shall grow as the lily."
• HE GIVES STABILITY. "He shall... cast forth his roots like Lebanon."
• HE MAKES HIM BEAUTIFUL. "His beauty shall be as the olive tree" (14:6)

Any time within today, someone we dearly love has chosen to commit spiritual suicide, and the grief cuts deeply into our souls because at this point there’s really nothing we can do but to pray for her – that one day in the soonest time possible, she will return to her FATHER and ask Him humbly to take out the knife of deception that she has stabbed herself with. Blood will be drawn. She will feel pain. But with God’s love and mercy… she will be alive and bear fruits of eternal life.

Breaking our Backs for something Bigger

It’s Friday once again. I looked at my desk planner and saw how the past week was filled with deadlines, meetings, appointments and errands. I just had our laundry sorted and listed this morning (I take note of every piece of clothing that goes to the Laundromat) I just sent off Kean to school on his bus. (Joseph leaves earlier) I’ve just finished washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, fixing the bed, and picking up Kean’s toys. Later I’ll clean the bathroom, vacuum the carpet, and mop the floor with Lysol. Since it’s already the end of the week, groceries have to be bought again. I’ve jotted down the supplies that needed to be replenished: toiletries, meat, vegetables, breakfast food, TV snacks, and other things. Kean needs a new toothbrush too. In 48 hours, it’s going to be Sunday again. It’s the first Sunday of the month so I have to prepare Joseph’s barong for the service. I reviewed my schedule for the coming week; wrote down itineraries, deadlines and tasks at home… Don’t forget: TAKE DOWN THE CHRISTMAS TREE!

As I took my shower, I pondered about another deadline-filled week ahead. I don’t want to count my chickens before the eggs hatch but one has to make at least a mental note of the cash flow that she has. So far God has been providing me with good projects and in fact I got a call from another events company and asked me to be one of their freelance writers. And if things push through I might have another TV show in a few months.

My year is surely starting out fine in the financial department but of course it doesn’t come without a cost. Lately I’ve been having frequent backaches, probably from the longs hours sitting in front of my PC. I’ve been losing a lot of sleep lately, especially when deadlines coincide. But I have learned not to complain anymore for I know this is just a normal phase in a freelancer’s life. The next wave would surely draw a blank calendar. I’m just milking it for all its worth.

And then it hit me – What is it really worth for?

I know I’m not the only one practically breaking my back here. In fact, I know that taking a few minutes off your schedule to read this blog right now is an effort for you so I promise not to waste your time with my domestic drama. We are all indeed BUSY! But what are we really grinding ourselves for? Sure, we’ve all got bills to pay and they all come like clockwork. Some of us have babies coming. Some already have new babies to rear. Some have children to send to school. Some even have their parents and siblings to support. Some are saving up for a car… a house… a trip… a wedding… while some are merely living from paycheck to paycheck.

We are even working doubly hard now because economic forecasts have been dismal. We have come to value (or forced to become conscious about) our work because we fear that we might lose them. Companies are either closing or sizing down. OFWs are coming back home jobless. People cannot even fully rely on their Life Insurances anymore. Suddenly we realize that the life jacket that we have bought doesn’t inflate at all. And that’s the irony of these things. When you’re in the plane, you don’t exactly ask the flight stewardess to let you “try” the life jacket under your seat. In fact, it’s against the law to tamper with it in the absence of an emergency. So basically, you’ll never know it’s defective until you’re face to face with death.

Praying for financial provision is probably always the number one prayer request. Right Ate Eunice? :-) There’s nothing exactly wrong about it but I was just thinking when would we ever stop praying for it? Personally, I’ve come to the point where I kind of feel ashamed already for always asking God for money. But here we are even more worried now how to sustain our domestic lives. When would we be able to rise above these mundane domestic worries and start working for the greater good? Is it silly to ask God for an overflow of cash so that we could start focusing on what He wants us to do instead?

Most of us miss our Bible studies, even miss going to church, forget to do daily devotionals, cut our praying time short, and refuse to take part in ministries and church projects because we claim that we are busy. We have work to do. Our schedule’s tight. We don’t have time. It seems that we can’t afford to fail our bosses but it’s okay to put God on hold. But God understands that we have mouths to feed, right? Hmmm…

I realized that the reason why we’re still in the rat race is because we refuse to simply get out of the race and be more than just rats. Look at that mouse in Ratatouille. He knew that there was more to life than just being in the sewers, scampering for food and worrying about humans finding and killing them. In the same way, God has spoken to us many times through the Word that we can be more, do more for Him, work for what’s really more important – Be part of the Great Commission!

“Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, into a mountain where Jesus had appointed them. And when they saw him, they worshiped him: but some doubted. And Jesus came and spoke unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen” – MATTHEW 28:16-20

As I went about my house chores and writing assignments I found myself humming like Belle in Beauty and the Beast “There must be more to this domestic life…” Even the mermaid Ariel wondered about getting legs to be part of THAT world. Aren’t we all tired of doing the same thing over and over again? Aren’t we all tired of thinking about paying our bills and meeting our deadlines? And then we say, Lord I want to be free of these! Can the bills just pay for themselves? Can I stop being a slave for work?

Until we realize that there’s more to life than just surviving and thriving for ourselves, God will never fill us to the brim and free us of these daily demands. Let’s ask ourselves. What are we really breaking our backs for? Of course, we want to provide for our families and we want to be good employees for after all that’s part of our Christian testimony but God is telling us that He can actually take care of all these things for us if we just LET HIM and if we just LIVE FOR HIM.

We’re all familiar with Matthew 6:33 "… seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." But how many of us are really doing it?

I don’t know about you but I am already tired of having to worry about how to pay for next month’s rent. I know God doesn’t want us to be obsessed with just merely “living”… we have to live for more… break our backs for something bigger… otherwise we’d all still be rats when we can be a Chef in France… we’d still be swimming with fins when we could be dancing with feet… I know God created us to be more than just what we think we are right now. We’re more than just burping that baby and getting that promotion. God is happy that we are able to do these things well but more than that He created us for his purpose. Once we are really working for His purpose that’s when God will start filling us to the brim. In that case, Ate Eunice won’t have to include a lot of financial prayer requests in our Sunday bulletin anymore. And soon, the bigger problem for us would not be about the economic recession but the next person’s salvation.

Blessings in Disguise (Bora Blog Part 4)

I’m back in Manila and I would like to share with you the amazing work that God did in my life/career when I was there on that island. As all of you have read in the blogs prior to this, that Bora trip was one dreadful trip to take. I had my heart set on having business and pleasure but then like all good plans, they were bound to be challenged and the only thing graceful to do is to accept that there’s going to be some good thing behind it… and true enough I found a silver lining to my cloud in Boracay.

First of all, let me tell you that this project (Roche National Conference) was the biggest bid I had ever made last year. We lost the 2008 Nat Con bid by a millimeter. I conceptualized an event (with team building activities) around the idea of Heroes while the other events company simply proposed the Bossa Nova concept. I could not understand how in the world we lost to that. That gave me the impression that this company wasn’t as creative and imaginative as some other companies I have proposed projects for. Anyway, my boss at ThemeWorks (Mike Miñana) was not one to give up so easily. So when it was time to bid for the Roche 2009 NatCon last August, I was given the task again to create a formidable concept presentation that would just blow them away.

I got the brief for the event and read that their slogan is “Moving On... Power to Conquer in 2009!” They wanted to do it in Cebu in January 2009. It took me a couple of days before giving birth to the concept that would fit perfectly with their slogan. Thank God for Discovery Channel. One afternoon while waiting for the perfect concept to pop in my head I was watching a documentary on Alexander the Great. And then it hit me… Inspired by the leadership of Alexander; him being a great conqueror and since they wanted the event to happen in Cebu – famous for the ancient battle of Lapu-Lapu and Magellan – I thought why not play around the theme of “The Greatest Battles in the Ancient World”… Alexander’s conquests… The Great Battle in Mactan… Leonidas and his 300…

The more I ran the idea in my head that day, the more it made sense… exciting… perfect. This theme would be perfect in designing our team building activities. It would be exciting in terms of décor, costumes, and over-all look of the event. The idea definitely made sense with their slogan “Moving On... Power to Conquer”

So I started to work on the presentation. It wasn’t your normal PowerPoint presentation, mind you. I made a movie. I even up the ante by using a voice talent as narrator, who sounded like Leonidas. Anyway, I was doing well in my preparation when the worst possible thing that could happen actually HAPPENED! My PC crashed! And my presentation was due the following day. I could not believe my eyes!

Of course I panicked. I called Joseph for an SOS. But my dear hubby was at work and could not get out of the office to save his damsel in distress. All my work was lost. Again, I realized that I was in the midst of another Faith stretching exercise. At first I resisted to be tested by God. I told Him, “Pwedeng huwag muna ngayon Lord, this will destroy my career!!!” But of course, who am I to even suggest when would be the best time for my trials. They aren’t called challenges for nothing.

So after wrestling with God on why He had to do this to me… after feeling so helpless and fearful of the fact that I might lose this account and worse lose my boss’s trust in delivering the job, I finally heeded His call to let Him do the work. I finally admitted that I was working solely on my abilities and not offering this work to God. I was humbled to surrender the fate of this project to Him after He spoke to me through these verses:

“And you shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord.” – DEUTORONOMY 8:2-3

The Lord once again rebuked my lack of Faith. It was direly impossible that I could come up with the same video presentation within less than 24 hours BUT God wanted me to believe that He could do it. Before I knew it, I found myself being led by the Lord to my good friend Paul’s house, just a street away from where I live. I was able to work on his PC, and basically started from scratch. It was a blessing that God made my mind a notch more creative and sharp that day. Paul also found another voice talent for me – a friend of his and also an old acquaintance of mine – who was free that night to record the narration for me.

And soon, things were opening up. I found an available studio to do the recording, and the presentation was beginning to take shape. Of course, I was under tremendous pressure because I was supposed to have sent the material to Sir Mike that day already. He needed to view and point out his revisions before we could present it the following day. Unfortunately, I had nothing to show my boss that day because I was still working on it. And I knew my boss very well that this situation would not sit well with him. So I just prayed to God and told Him to manage Sir Mike’s temper. And you know what it was so unlikely of him not to bother me that day. He didn’t call at all. I knew God had something to do with it.

Finally, it was the next day. Our appointment with Roche was after lunch. I was still finishing up my presentation in the morning still at Paul’s house. Of course, this whole starting from scratch thing was not as easy as you would expect. We encountered a lot of technical problems! Some I could not even comprehend. Basically, I knew the enemy was really doing its very best to mess me up to make me throw the towel. But I held on. I knew God was on my side. At that point, I had nothing to myself except my Faith. My career was on the line and it was the last thing I would want to happen because I had just gotten off my regular TV show so if I messed my credibility with this events company I am freelancing for, there goes my livelihood!

The presentation was done just in time. I had an hour to fly to my appointment. EDSA was its usual self. Time was running out. And miraculously, I made it just in time. While the presentation was playing, I was deep in my prayers. I also asked my prayer partners to intercede for me. At that time all I wanted was for my boss (Sir Mike) to like my work, since it was him paying me anyway. I knew that even if Roche didn’t award us the project again, Sir Mike wouldn’t blame it on me because as far as he’s concerned he liked the concept. I was in heaven when Sir Mike had nothing but praises for my work. So for me 90% of the battle has been won. Now it’s time to present to Roche. And guess what – THEY LOVED IT!

So that was how we got this project. But guess what again… I knew God was using this project because all throughout the 4 months that we spent preparing for it, they were never without glitches. Every time I had to do another presentation on it; any revisions; or any important work for that matter, it was always stricken with stress: there would be a bad storm cutting off the electricity… I would get sick… there would be problems with the PC (we bought a new one by the way after the crash)… etc…etc… then Roche even asked us to tweak the theme because they’re now doing it Boracay. So there goes more work again. Then the worst development was it even got to a point when the project almost folded up because Roche unfortunately suffered a massive lay-off in December which turned the whole company into a somber mood. Nobody wanted to do the festive theme we had planned for them anymore. Good thing they still pushed through with it. But this time, despite the hard work we already invested in mounting the grandiose theme, we were told to simplify everything and just make it a straightforward team building seminar.

At first, it was easy to say what a waste! But then again, God proved to me that it was His doing. When we got to Boracay and started working on the conference itself, I realized that God was good enough to change the theme because it would have been more tiring to mount our ambitious concept on that island. God in fact did us a favor. As usual, we were never without technical difficulties. The Closing Program AVPs I have prepared conked out the night before my trip. So armed with my new laptop, I produced a batch of new ones during my idle times at the airport and in between breaks during the 1st 2 days. God’s blessing in the situation – my brand new laptop. It was another perfect example that when God asks us to jump, He made sure we had our life vest on. This laptop saved my life.

So I could definitely say, I worked up some blood, sweat and tears in this project. From Day One up to the very end, it was really the most stressful project I have ever tackled in 2008. Good thing I always had Deutoronomy 8:2-3 to go back to every time I was in the eye of the hurricane. Indeed God allows us to suffer difficulties and hardships for a purpose. Testing reveals what is in our hearts and it definitely produces robust faith. God continuously allowed me to be challenged because He wanted me to not cease in my calls for Him.

But of course, God just doesn’t test us for the sake of testing. Like any good test… like any good challenge… like any good conquest… there’s VICTORY in the end. Each time I survived all those little and big problems that plagued this project, I praised God for his AMAZING POWER to make EVERYTHING POSSIBLE. But nothing was sweeter when God surprised me, us (the team) with the biggest compliment and recognition that I have ever experienced in my entire events production career.

On the night of the Closing Program, we were floored when the General Manager of Roche called us to stand up from where we were. He personally thanked the team for a fantastic job and the whole congregation even gave us a thundering standing ovation! Wow! That was the first time I have ever experienced something like that. Most companies have more complaints during events even if we have practically given the stars and the moon already. That was the first time that a client formally applauded their vendor in front of a crowd. This was certainly so unusual. I don’t think it has happened to any other events team before. Later that evening, I got to meet the GM and he personally commended me for the scripts and the concepts that we have made from Day One. The client was more than pleased. We have now been booked for more events. Hallelujah!

I knew right then and there that that was God’s way of rewarding me. It was a long journey… the 4 grueling months of pre-production were like how He had led the Israelites to wander through the wilderness for forty years to humble and test them. At the end of it all there was a Promised Land to be claimed, if we stick with God’s plan. Just trust Him in the journey. He will take us to our destination. And this recognition by the GM was truly my own version of the Promised Land.

Posing with the GM (center) after the Closing Program

Living by F8 in 2008

That’s supposed to be read as Faith. If you write it in SMS text, the word Faith could be written as “F8,” right? Now while it is true that I could summarize 2008 as “living by faith,” the word F8 actually connotes more than that. Aside from Faith, I had 8 F-words that made this year truly remarkable.

First of all, let me give you a brief background. I have always had a fascination for words beginning with the letter F. I would understand why Studio 23 came up with a female-oriented show called “F” because there are really tons of fun F words that tickle the fancy of the female heart. F could stand for Fashion, Flicks, Film, Fiction, Feminism, Flair, Flirting… as well as cosmopolitan expressions such as Fabulous, Fantastic, Fantabulous, Fight (as popularized by Celine Lopez). There are also a lot of F words out there that are quite notoriously naughty and very popular to boot but I wouldn’t even dare write them down here. Hahaha. Anyway, I’m simply saying that I find the letter F lexically prolific.

And I think that I probably have this F-fetish embedded deep in my brain. I really had a trip laughing to myself when I realized, after writing my Year-Ender thanksgiving list to God, that all of the things I wrote down began with the letter F! Fascinating and Freaky at the same time! And here’s another thing… I was able to come up with 8 F-words. Hence I dubbed them “F8” – The 8 F things that I want to thank God this past year.

So without further ado and before we usher in 2009 here’s my F8 for 2008…

1) FAIRY TALE ENDING
I think everyone knows by now that I got married this year and not just to any man… I got married to the man of my dreams… MY FIRST LOVE… the Prince Charming in my own Fairy Tale. My wedding was a dream come true, God’s gift and a miracle all rolled into one. Just when I was about to throw the towel of love, God finally wrote the last chapter of my melodramatic maiden life and gave me a Happy Ending. As a writer, I have always fantasized my life as a movie. And true to form, our love story – from “When Joseph met Jill” until “My Big Fat Pinoy Wedding” – had all the elements of a romantic dramedy. Everyday I thank the Lord for the LOVE that he has given us. Every night in bed as I watch my husband go to sleep, I can’t believe that God granted my prayer to bring Joseph back to my life.


2) FAMILY
I have always been open about my family problems and how I used to ridiculously wish before that my future husband be an orphan so that I wouldn’t have to deal with in-laws. My logic was if I can’t even manage my own family, how much more somebody else’s? God obviously has a very good sense of humor because not only did He give me a husband with a very tight-knit brood, Joseph also has another BIGGER family that I have to marry – His church! However, I don’t think God would come out in the middle of everything and cry out “You’ve just been Punk’d Jill!” Putting me in this FAMILY is not a prank but His Good Plan, and I can’t thank God enough. Not only did He give me a new family to love and who will love me, God also screwed back on some loose nuts and bolts in my own family. My mom and I are in a more stable relationship now. I have reconciled with my sister. And I have buried the hatchet regarding some gripes that I’ve had with some of my aunts.

My mother-in-law & my Mom

3) FREEDOM
This year I thank God for giving me FREEDOM in my career and creativity. While it was painful getting fired from the TV show that I helped create and have grown to love, I thank God for that moment of Failure because I know with Him that could only mean Success is going to be next. And true enough, as I held onto Him during those times of disappointment, God delivered me from despair. I saw what God was doing in my career. He freed me from the clutches of that regular yet thankless job and blessed all my freelance endeavors with successes! I am overwhelmed with God’s generosity because He made all the Powerpoint and Video pitches I put together for this events company I am freelancing for win the project bids. While all I received was flack from my previous job, God showered me with affirmation – internationally renowned authors like Harold Sala and Neta Jackson leaving encouraging comments on my blog… big time directors like Rowell Santiago asking me to work for him… a silent vindication by making my previous TV show win an award for the season that I was still a part of. My freelance career in 2008 would have been a flop if not for God.

4) FINANCIAL PROVISION
One of my biggest worries after getting fired from my regular TV Show was the financial aspect of it. Knowing that at that point I could only rely on events which unfortunately don’t “normally” happen every week, I just surrendered the whole situation to God. And as always He never failed to amaze me with His openhandedness. I don’t know how God did it but He covered all our bills. He always gave me projects whenever we needed to pay for something. He even gave Joseph a wonderful promotion at work. He even provided for my hospital emergency. From our wedding to our new domestic life, God was our trustworthy financier. While the world’s economy was crashing down, good thing we didn’t invest in anything else except in God’s love. It’s the only stock that will never ever go down.

My Prayer Partners

5) F.R.I.E.N.D.S
Because I work from home, one of the disadvantages of this is the lessened encounter and contact with my friends. But thanks to broadband internet and cellular technology, being with friends and getting some encouragement from them doesn’t have to be at an arm’s length. I can actually summarize the significant friendship moments I had in 2008 by using the acrostic F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I thank God for the following…
F—Foes turned Friends. I won’t mention their names anymore but they know who they are. It is really God’s Grace that we were able to move on from whatever frictions we’ve had in the ancient and recent past. It is only by God’s love that we could now be amongst each other and truly care for each other like real old friends.
R—Readers of my Blog. Though I haven’t met most of them and only correspond to some through the comments box of my blog posts, and some through e-mail, I am so grateful to God for bringing these sweet strangers-no-more to my sphere. I feel blessed every time God uses my blog posts to minister to them. This is proof that sincerity cannot only come from old friends but also from faceless names that leave words of encouragement, wisdom and faith in my little corner in the World Wide Web. And of course, aside from the anonymous ones I thank God for my friends who tolerate my silliness and actually take the time to read my blog. Hahaha. There’s Lucy, Rich, Nonoy (who got inspired by my blog and decided to make one too, hehe)... Frances, and of course my Multiply Contacts. You know who you are (wink wink)
I—Intercessors. I would not have survived this year without prayers! I thank God for the people who interceded for my concerns and woes. My prayer partners Gracey, Anne, Bebbet, Arlyn, Mae, Queenie, Pam, Maca, Myrtle, Achi, Mich, Nice, PJ... Ladies thank you so much for always responding to my SOS’s.
E—Everybody who helped me… in the church ministry (the OMNI volunteer performers and the YAM)… in giving me projects (Direk Rich, Sir Mike, Sarah M, Perci, Tonyo, Sisa, Love, Gina, Direk Rowell and even Lucy for her referrals to QTV)… in my wedding (you know who you are, hehe!)
N—Neil Tan… wherever you are. He was my best gay friend for many years. The Stanford Blatch to my Carrie Bradshaw. So it was really tragic and up to now still unfathomable how and why he did that to our friendship. Neil, if you’re reading this I miss you and I am really praying that you’re alright, healthy and happy. I thank God for you despite what happened. The incident taught me a lot about forgiveness and forgetting.
D—Davao friends. My childhood friends always keep me grounded. Being with them always reminds me of where I came from thus humbling me in a lot of ways.
S—SSEAYP friends. Like my childhood friends, nobody else can give me the full monty on my foolishness than my best friends from SSEAYP. And just like my Davao friends, they’ve seen me fall in love, and fall off the cliff after every break-up, and finally seeing me begin my forever.

My Father

6) FATHER
Now this one is hard to tell without shedding a tiny tear. I thank our merciful God for my father’s life. Papa came to Manila on an emergency situation which I cannot expound more here. Bottom line is I am grateful that God protected his life and even planned out this opportunity for me to be able to mend my severed relationship with him. By God’s grace, Papa got to know Jesus while he stayed with us.

7) FERTILITY
And though this is a basically a trial, I thank God for this faith-stretching exercise. The entry of this fertility challenge in our married life is God’s way of saying “Let me run your marriage for you” Though there’s hurt, anxiety and bewilderment, the comfort of God’s promises swathes everything. It’s the kind of sorrow that brings joy because we know God is with us. We know He is in control. I am happy because I understand that God wouldn’t allow us to be complacent in our faith. He wants us to constantly need Him. This thorn in the flesh will definitely make us cry out for Him day in and day out.


8) FUTURE
All in all, I thank God’s faithfulness for this year would have really been a disaster if I had not sought His face. Every day, every hour, every minute and every second including the extra one that we will be having this 2008 is all God’s work. From the treats to the tests that I had this year – everything was from Him and therefore all of it was beautiful. If I had failed at a lot of certain points this year when it came to my intimate relationship with Him, the best thing about our God is that He can give us tomorrow. I thank God for the fantastic future He’s already set out for me in 2009.

Thank you, Lord Jesus... my shepherd... the lamp upon my feet...

"Shout for joy to the Lord; all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before Him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations." -- PSALM 100:1-5