Faith in a Disappointing World

A few months ago, I had a very profound encounter with the meaning of Faith. And I had this remarkable experience with my 5 year old boy Kean.

As you all know, Kean is actually my sister’s son. Cindy had him when she was only 17, while his boyfriend was about a year older. Okay, based on their age, it seems obvious that Kean was born out of wedlock; into the hands of unwilling and unprepared set of parents. Anyway to cut the long story short – my sister and her BF broke up, my family had to deal with my “difficult” sister’s “more difficult” situation, and basically, after a whirlwind of drama, twists & turns… my sister had to leave for New York due to her US petition and I ended up rearing Kean.

I love my sister. I had to put this disclaimer before this blog entry becomes misunderstood again. Again, I’ll repeat it: I love my sister… but… she’s not exactly what you would call “mother-material” if you know what I mean. At least not yet! I know one of these days she’ll completely blossom into the kind of mother that she needs to be for Kean. As for Kean’s biological father, well there’s nothing to talk about that either. AND YET… despite the fact that these so-called parents are as indisposed and reluctant as they could get, Kean remains to be so faithful in them.

Kean has this unwavering faith that his Mommy will commit to her promise of finally coming back from the States to be with him for good. It breaks my heart to see my little boy unaware that the promise has already been broken. He’s practically counting the days already. It amazes me that even if Cindy does not regularly get in touch with him as much as she’s supposed to be, Kean is steadfast in his loyalty.

I learned more about Faith when Kean was making excuses for his parents and covering up for their shortcomings. Unlike most kids left by their parents, Kean understands why Cindy has to be in the States. He will answer “Mommy Cindy has to work because we need the money for my milk and toys.” And every time his father fails to show up to visit him or fails to call, Kean doesn’t say “My daddy doesn’t love me” INSTEAD, he’d be quick to reason “Maybe he’s busy. He will call soon.”

Kean, despite being “neglected” has so much Faith, Hope and Love for his parents. In our standards as grown-ups, they are certainly disappointing, right? And yet for this child’s heart, HE BELIEVES THAT THEY ARE HIS PARENTS AND THEREFORE THEY WOULD DO NOTHING TO DISAPPPOINT HIM. This whole scenario reminded me of a passage in the Bible that talks about having a Child-Like Faith.

“… I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like a child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.” – MATTHEW 18:3-4

Oftentimes, we as grown-ups put Faith and Hope in things that are SURELY GOING TO DISAPPOINT US. Many times, we lament about our disappointments with boyfriends, husbands, and maybe friends. Some of these disappointments even result to break-ups. We put a lot of expectations in people who like us are IMPERFECT.

Not too long ago, I was very jaded. I didn’t believe in relationships anymore because the men always disappointed me. Nothing in this world ever satisfied my needs. Nothing in this world made me feel important. I felt neglected in this world. I felt that all my plans and dreams burst into bubbles one after the other.

And then I discovered why Life was Disappointing… Nothing in this physical world will really be adequate for the inner cravings of my spirit. I realized that there’s only one thing – ONLY ONE THING – that will NOT DISAPPOINT US – and that is GOD’S LOVE!

“And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” -- Romans 5:2b-5

Unfortunately, we do not put Faith in God like we do on the things that disappoint us. Unfortunately, our families, our relationships, and our man-made plans are as imperfect as this damaged and flawed world. That’s why most of us end up being disappointed. That’s why most of us are still searching for that thing that satisfies us.

I am glad that Kean is not a jaded, rebellious kid like most kids who are in the same parent-less situation. Soon, when he grows up, he will inevitably realize that he missed out on a lot of things regarding his parents. But by Grace, this little boy will grow up with Jesus in his heart and with Him he will never be disappointed.