Once a Bag Hag... Always a Bag Hag

I used to be a bag addict; a bag-o-holic; a bag hag; you name it, I'm guilty on all accounts. I only got sober about 3 years ago when I decided to de-clutter my closet... simplify my life... and focus on the more important things. I asked myself, do I really need all these bags? I decided that I will start living my life one bag at a time.

Also, ever since I started my stint as a Freelance Writer and working most of the time from home, there wasn't really any need for me to update my wardrobe as often as I did when I was still with MTV. I was producing, of all shows, MTV Fashionista hence the fashion quotient requirement. Those were the times when you could not make me step out of the house if my bag didn't match my outfit. Now, I'm less than half of the fashion freak that I was in my twenties.

I already sold most of my well-used Nine West's, Gucci's, Aldo's, Guess's, Coach's, Tommy Hilfiger's, Kipling's as well as sporty bags from Adidas, Puma, and even fab finds in bazaars, etc... etc... Believe me there were MANY. I literally had a case of Excess BAGgage (and fantasized on Kate Spade and LV.) I had a bag for every occasion and mood. But as much as I would have wanted to keep all of them, I got to the point when I just really had enough of the fashion addiction. I realized that they've been sitting in my closet for too long already. Like puppies they need new Fashionistas to pet them. So off they all went to my Garage Sale of what I call Pre-Loved items!

But once a bag lady, always a bag lady. I don't keep a lot of bags anymore but I've kept some of my favorite pieces from way back. And my mother, also a bag hag herself, never fails to send me a new one every now and then from New York.

Anyway, I'm blogging about bag-o-hilism because this afternoon I was really delighted to find this nifty item at the SM Department Store that I think every bag lady should have -- A BAG ORGANIZER! I thought, wow, why didn't anyone make this years ago when I was wasting precious time whenever I would switch bags to match my outfit? I remember that I was always running late. So usually, when I switched bags, it was inevitable that I would leave at least one item in the other bag.


I have about a dozen things in my bag: make-up kit, wallet, sunglasses, IPod, 2 cellphones, digital camera, coin purse, face powder, umbrella, small notebook, planner, pens, keys, fan, passport (it's my only ID as Mrs. Palarca)



This bag organizer I found is actually a small compact tote bag with lots of pockets. It has a handle and the bag fits inside all regular-sized bags. So all you really have to do is arrange your items inside the organizer in the most accessible order then slip the tote bag into your bag of choice and voila you’re ready to go. The next day, when you feel like ditching that patent leather bag for that cute canvass tote to match your summer outfit, then all you have to do is take out the bag organizer and simply slip it into the new bag of choice. I was so amused with the idea.

When I got home, I researched this item on the Internet and as expected a lot of online boutiques are already selling this item. But what I discovered is that most of the ones sold on Multiply and other sites look like your usual Kikay Kits. There are pouch types and there are also some that look like the usual toiletries organizer which you have to roll and wrap up.


The above photos were downloaded from the following sites:
Organice Bag Organizer
Fashion Monster
Oh So Chic

Although they’re all cute, they aren’t as handy and easy-to-use as the ones with the handle that function as the inner bag. It’s like my bag’s got a soul. Hehe. Okay, that’s far-fetched.



There were two brands that caught my eye in the store. The LugMax Bag brand had several colors but they were more expensive. I just wanted a basic black organizer to fit inside most of my bags that I have now so I chose this brand IN THE BAG instead. It only cost 129.75 pesos compared to the 175 pesos of LugMax.

More than anything, I think this “neat” idea has given bag-o-holism a new dimension. Since the organizer itself becomes your basic bag, the bag that carries it actually acts like its dress! So it’s like dressing up your bag like dressing up a doll. Isn’t that cute? Now switching bags have never been any easier and fashionably fun! Now that I mentioned it, is it okay to have a relapse on my bag-o-holism sobriety?

Selling out to Facebook!

What a way to start 2009, huh? It’s official – I have just subscribed to another trivial social-networking site, adding more cyber-clutter in my life. I’ve been saying an adamant BIG NO ever since my friend of 10 years, Mr. Vlad Guevarra who’s now based in London began bloody bugging me (and the whole barkada) to join Facebook early in 2008. Oh you should hear him promote the site. He really sounded like he’s got big stocks invested in the company. And honestly at some point I seriously thought that maybe Vlad knows something that we don’t since he happens to be an international Reporter for the Dowjones Newswires. Hmmm… maybe Facebook is hot in the stock market.

Anyway, so just a couple of hours ago I FINALLY yielded to Vlad’s relentless persuasion which started out as a cute cajoling and soon became an annoying marketing pitch. You know how it is when somebody tries to sell you something and even though you’ve turned them down over and over again they just wouldn’t stop until you finally give in just to make them shut up? Yep, I admit I’ve got such a low EQ on situations like that. So Vlad, YOU WIN! Ugh! And you know what Vlad’s first message was for me on my Facebook profile? He said, “Welcome to the Dark Side! Hahaha…” I swear the man is EVIL!!! :-)

So here I am with a new FB (that’s how THEY, the people-in-the-know, call it) profile and I practically don’t know what to do with it. To be honest, I just really signed up ‘cos I wanted to grab the photos that Vlad took with his camera during our party when he was home for the holidays. There was just no other way to get ‘em except through Facebook. Vlad wouldn’t have it any other way. And now that I finally have them I’m squinting my eyes on what else do I need this Facebook profile for?

First of all, I have semi-retired from social networking, which is after all the only essence of Facebook, just like Friendster. I’m saying semi-retired because I still have my Friendster account. I just don’t update it anymore. Well at least not as much as I used to before I got my Multiply Account. It even became an inch close to being totally abandoned when I finally set up my Memoirs of a New Missus on Blogspot. When Vlad learned that I’m not active on Friendster anymore he thought that I might be interested in Facebook. I said NO.

Friendster served a purpose in my life back when I was single. Back then, I was really active in the social circuit. I even went way pass the friends quota. I had friends in my Friends List who were really my friends and friends who I probably met when I was drunk because I could not remember them at all. Anyway, this was ages ago. And this is basically one of the major reasons why I don’t take part in the Friendster fuss anymore. I’m done with the frenzied social networking thing. I’m done with finding old friends, new friends, old boyfriends and new boyfriends. Some people may not admit it but social networking sites are like cyber soirees. Some people do actually expect to find a SIGNIFICANT OTHER on Friendster or Facebook or any of the other similar sites like MySpace. And although I admit that I got a few hook-ups through Friendster, I honestly didn’t expect that I would actually find my future husband here.

But fortunately Joseph was no random stranger from the internet. He was an “old boyfriend” or sort of. We had a “thing” back in college. And this is how Friendster worked for me big time. Anybody who’s had a Friendster account, or Facebook for that matter, can attest that they use these sites to find people. And one lazy afternoon in 2004 I typed in the name of Joseph John Palarca whom I haven’t seen since 1997 and lo and behold I learned that the guy is still well and alive in Cebu City. And the much awaited Part 2 of our Love Story started right then and there.

Although I can say that I officially semi-retired from Friendster after I got married, there were already a lot of reasons beforehand that made me want to delete my account… Oh I could not count the number of times that Friendster has gotten me into trouble. It was though Friendster that Joseph’s friends from church found out about our budding relationship which was still supposedly hush-hush at that time. There also came a point when I realized that there were a lot of creepy characters crawling around the Friendster sphere. Then like I said earlier, I had people in my Friends List that weren’t supposed to be there so knowing that I practically have complete strangers poking their noses into my life actually scared me a lot. I thought that I could mend that by merely deleting them but somehow that didn’t work. And another thing about Friendster are the Forwarded Spam! Argh! And it even annoys me when people who are actually close to me; people whom I generally consider as rational even fall prey to this con and send out these annoying “if you don’t pass this you’ll get bad luck” kind of messages. Anyway, it has just gotten to the point that Friendster has turned dirt cheap. I see it as very shallow now. I can’t deny the fact that I was once an addict but thank God I have become sober. Looking back I could just say that Friendster marked that feral era in my life. I’m done with it.

And now here comes Facebook. With my new account, have I put myself in another foot in my mouth case? I don’t think so. I still stand by my decision not to be active in cyber social networking anymore. I just really got that account for Vlad’s sake. But I’m a pretty positive person now so maybe one of these days Facebook will serve its purpose for me. For now I’m greatly content with my Multiply and Blogspot.

I have told Vlad that I really don’t need another cyber life to manage because I am pretty much very active on these two sites already. I really believe that Facebook and Friendster and other similar sites are very trivial. It’s just so High School! The interface and the elements are all slambook material. And I believe I’m done with all the frivolity.

My Multiply and Blogspot however are very utilitarian in a sense. I keep my photos in Multiply and I write my thoughts and Christian devotionals on my blog. That’s enough. With Multiply I can also control my viewership. So there are photo albums and other posts that are open for everybody and there are some that are limited to legit contacts. And while some of my photo albums are restricted, my blog is definitely open to all. As a Christian, I discovered that this is one clever way to minister, reach out and share the Gospel. Although my blog is still basically a personal journal, I do try to make it a point to inject my reflections with verses and to always write my thoughts and musings in a Christian perspective whenever possible and applicable.

Multiply also offers more features which are good for entrepreneurs, like me because non-members can access my public posts. That’s not possible for Friendster or Facebook. Its public posts are still limited to subscribers. To be honest I FEEL SAFE with Multiply. I don’t know but I just don’t feel the creeps compared to what I have experienced with Friendster. I can’t speak for Facebook yet but given its similarities, I really think I won’t get nothing more than what I have already milked from Friendster. Vlad says Friendster is so 3rd World. Well I guess that’s what Facebook is just all about – a 1st world version of Friendster. Oh don’t quote me on that. I’m not taking Facebook’s side. They can have all those Facebook versus Friendster versus MySpace debates on the internet for all I care.

So in short, there’s really nothing to it. Friendster… Facebook… fine I have accounts with both. What’s the big deal? I’m pretty sure I’ll have the same set of friends in both sites anyway. So what new thing is this triviality going to add in my life? NADA! ZILCH! NOTHING! I’m just joining in the bandwagon most probably out of curiosity. And besides I need a new avenue to promote that my Condominium Unit in Pioneer Highlands is OPEN FOR LEASE AGAIN. Let me put this Facebook profile into good use and make a post there... So Vlad, are you happy now?

What if Bridget went to Church? (Redeeming the Pink Pocketbooks thru Christian Chick Lit)

This is probably the longest blog title I have ever come up with. Sounds like a thesis. Hahaha! Anyway, for those of you who aren’t updated with the Missus, this blog is actually a sequel to a previous entry entitled “Classic Chick Lits” which was a “comprehensive” summary of the Chick Lit clichés, that even yours truly lived out in real life. I have to make it clear that now I have become a Christian, I don’t live like Bridget Jones anymore. This former chick lit heroine finally went to church.


Let’s admit it, chick lit books have been flying off the shelves ever since Helen Fielding hit the fiction jackpot with Bridget Jones’s Diary more than 10 years ago. The genre has been a publishing goldmine. Pink pocketbooks are the reigning queens of fiction. They’re like the book equivalents of Hannah Montana and High School Musical. They’re a massive enterprise. And let’s also admit that in a Christian perspective unfortunately most if not all of the content of these novels aren’t exactly healthy food for the soul.

I consumed chick lit like junk food way back before I got converted not because I wanted to be like the heroines of these novels but more because I could relate to them. They echoed my life and somehow it felt comforting to know that a lot of twenty-something women out there were on the same roller-coaster ride and despite their imperfections and temporary moments of insanity it was still possible to survive and flourish. I had my own happy ending – got my dream boy and stepped up on my career – similar to most chick lit heroines. There was just one difference though – something you wouldn’t see happening in a Hollywood-bound pop fiction – I BECAME A CHRISTIAN.

So ever since then I have always wondered what would have happened if Bridget went to Church? What if her sequel was about her new life as a young woman thriving and struggling at the same time to balance her new Faith and values with the secular world? Instead of scribbling down calorie counts, she’d be writing down prayer items now on her diary. Okay that’s probably pushing it too much. Hahaha!

But seriously, I have never heard of a convert storyline just like that. Why not? (Tell me if there’s already a Christian Chick Lit novel with that plot.) I’ve done my research on Christian Chick Lit, and I found out that it’s actually just one of the many sub-genres born out of the Chick Lit genus. Would you believe there are actually books now that are categorized as: Tween Lit, Bridezilla Lit, Mommy Lit, Multicultural Lit, and my goodness Widow Lit! And believe me there are quite a few more which I don’t even want to mention already.

Actually, according to my research, the idea of a Chick Lit genre in the Christian publishing world was almost impossible. First of all, the term Chick Lit has gained some bad reputation so they couldn’t actually make an equation out of Chick Lit and Faith. But thank God for Christian writer Neta Jackson’s bestselling “lighthearted” novel “The Yada Yada Prayer Group.” The success of her book actually helped launched Chick Lit into the Christian market. She’s the Christian world’s version of Helen Fielding and Sophie Kinsella. Her Yada novel has actually spawned successful sequels too.



I am glad though that now the Christian Chick Lit genre is gaining some ground even among the secular readers. I read that some of these books aren’t just being sold at Christian bookstores. They have also taken up some shelf space in more common stores like Target in the US.

But before we get excited let us pause and ponder for a while, how do you define a Christian Chick Lit anyway? How can we easily spot one among the rows and rows of pink book covers especially when they’re allegedly sold now at regular shops? I don’t think you’d see a Bible verse printed as a tagline or even as a blurb on the cover. There are some titles that can be a dead giveaway like “Amen Sisters” and one called “Christian Serial Dater” which I think was kind of funny and a tad bit ironic. But that’s as far as you can get. So it can be tricky. You might pick up a pink pocketbook with a seemingly harmless sounding title then only to find out that the character was just another Bridget clone. So I suggest stay close to those titles that obviously has a positive message. And of course, it doesn’t hurt to read the synopsis found at the back just for closer scrutiny.

So if you’re interested to bury your heads in some Christian Chick Lit, here are a couple of websites with a selection of Faith-filled Fiction:

Christian Chick Lit Book List
Church Chick Lit selection @ chicklitbook.com

As a couple of Christian authors quipped about their readers: They love Jesus (and cute boys too!) Let’s face it. Girls will be girls. Christian girls pretty much do the same things as any other regular girls out there – shopping, dating, parties, work or school – except that they’re all done in a wholesome manner. Definitely no Gossip Girl behavior here. Christian chicks know that TRUE LOVE WAITS. Most people think that anything labeled Christian is preachy. The Christian Chick Lit genre is proof that biblical values and doctrines can also be conveyed through a voice that’s contemporary, hip and socially real. Let’s admit it we cannot always talk poignantly like Henry Blackaby and Harold Sala and even Anne Graham Lotz. Sometimes we women would just want to be enlightened by the Word through a simple girl talk.



As someone who used to live the Bridget Jones life, of course I am not proud of my mistakes and foolishness but at the same time, it is something that I would not even try to hide. I am a convert. My blogs oftentimes tell these stories about my change of heart. Sometimes I’m wary that some people at my church would question my blogging on secular things, like my fancy for Chick Lit for instance. Again they’re not meant as tripwires for my Christian readers but it’s really more about reaching out to my Non-Christian friends. If I can be redeemed so can they. If they’re still stuck in the chapters of their own Chick Lit existence, then my story is evidence that they too can have their happy ending, and they can even have a MUCH BETTER sequel if they let Jesus start writing their life.

Classic Chick Lits

I know what you’re thinking. I must admit, the title is a total paradox. How could you even put the words “classic” and “chick lit” together? Although it was not spoken out loud in my university, a penchant for chick lits would be a mortal sin for any English Literature and Creative Writing Major. I therefore confess – I am a sinner! :-)

Of course, I also read the likes of Diane Ackerman, Jeanette Winterson, Margaret Atwood, Isabel Allende, Anais Nin, Sylvia Plath, Tracy Chevalier among the many other formidable (more serious) female contemporary writers that I have encountered in college, but there was just something about chick lits that was gratifying. It was my junk food in between these gourmet entrees. Guilty pleasure, if you may. And just like any junk food, it was bound to be devoured in volumes. Soon enough in the past decade, it was probably the only genre that raked in money for publishing companies and we’ve seen how these books turned into box-office hits worldwide.

I found myself blogging about chick lits today because I just saw the trailer for the movie version of Sophie Kinsella’s “Confessions of a Shopaholic” which is due to come out in 2009. It stars the adorable Isla Fisher (that love-crazed girl in Wedding Crashers), who I totally have a girl-crush on, hehehe. Anyway, I kinda chuckled at the fact that of all people, the movie’s producer is none other than THE Jerry Bruckheimer. Now when did Jerry ever begin to take interest in chick lits? I guess he got bored blowing up planes and cities.

We’ve always known Mr. Bruckheimer as one of the most respected, intelligent and business-savvy movie producers of our time. The idea of Bruckheimer producing a movie about a New Yorker who gets into a life and DEBT situation with her monstrous credit card bills is just something I am baffled with. I read the book. Okay, here’s a confession. I have three of these Kinsella kitschy novels (Disclaimer: my mom got them for me. She likes to update me with what’s new at Barnes & Noble) and let me tell you, though they’re “entertaining” to say the least, they’re nothing extraordinary. I have read enough chick lits to say that Rebecca Bloomwood (the Shopaholic heroine) was just another Bridget Jones wannabe. Truth is, after Helen Fielding published this now famous diary in 1996, it unleashed a battalion of Bridgets. In the book Becky (Rebecca) was actually Brit and they must have turned her into a New Yorker in the movie to prevent any comparison with Ms. Jones. As if we couldn’t see through that.



It was quite surprising that Shopaholic spawned a trilogy. I guess that proves that every woman out there can relate to Retail Therapy, my mom definitely included. Well, I was once a shopaholic myself and I’ve had my own living nightmare with Citibank but thank God that’s all over. Now I don’t have a credit card and I don’t even want to get one anymore. I pay in cold cash now.



So what makes a classic chick lit? There are actually clichés that govern the genre. If you’re already a chick lit reader you may have noticed the following standard story and character elements. Or if you’re still someone who’s scratching his head and asking “What in the world is chick lit?” read on and unravel the mystery…

First of all, if you visit any bookstore nowadays, I’m pretty sure it’s hard to miss a chick lit novel. The PINK COVER is a dead giveaway. Blame it on Barbie. Pink has become the international color code for fashion and any stuff that’s “girly.” So you take this book and as you breeze through its pages you’ll discover these things:

In a classic chick lit, our heroine is either looking for Mr. Right or getting over Mr. Wrong. In the middle of this love crisis, she’s also in some sort of a career conundrum. She’s either in a dead-end job or is looking to climb the corporate ladder. Another very important detail is that a chick lit heroine more often than not works in media, public relations, advertising or for a woman’s magazine. Her story is usually told in the first person and if we could actually hear her, she would sound articulate, quirky, funny, light-hearted and sometimes if need be bitchy but still in a cute way. And by novel’s end, the heroine usually has worked out all her problems and has learned “important” lessons about life. That typically means she got the man of her dreams or she got promoted. Basically it’s a happy ending but it leaves enough space for a sequel.

I would have to say that based on the above mentioned elements, my twenty-something single life was one big classic chick lit novel. I was a classic chick lit heroine – a hapless single girl in hot pursuit of love and life’s little luxuries in the big city. My fairy tale ending was my wedding. My Mr. Darcy turned out to be Joseph. Hahaha.

Furthermore, aside from these formulas, there are still more chick lit clichés that I can relate to. A classic chick lit heroine always had these stereotypical characters around her: 1) The supportive female best friend 2) The overbearing mother 3) The guy she ought to fall in love with 4) The fabulous gay confidante and 5) The boss everybody hates. Anybody who knows me well enough would agree that these people are indeed real life characters in my bio. In fact, I actually have an unpublished memoir of my misadventures in Manila which I think should remain unpublished since it would totally contradict my new Christian life now. Hahaha. It was actually entitled “Chronicles of my Men Catastrophes.” It was my young adult life written ala chick lit.

Speaking of classic chick lits, I decided to sneak in a Fave Five list in this article. I thought of counting down my five favorite chick lits turned into chick flicks. So I’m only listing down the books that were already turned into movies. So Candace Bushnell’s SATC is out, as well as Kinsella’s Shopaholic since it has not hit theaters yet. Just a note, I really only have 3 favorites, I’m just stretching the list to 5 to adhere to my “fave five” rules. Hehe.



5) The Princess Diaries (Meg Cabot) – Not exactly your typical chick lit heroine. The book reads much like Sweet Valley High (anybody who grew up in the 90s knows this). However, it was cute and the usual ugly duckling turning into a swan story worked just right.



4) The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Ann Brashares) AND Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (Rebecca Wells) – They share one spot in my list because they’re practically made from the same mold. Traveling Pants could actually pass off as the junior version of Ya-Ya. Again not your typical chick lit as these stories revolve around the friendship of four friends in suburbia. Come to think of it, they’re actually like candy versions of SATC which also has four female lead characters.



3) The Nanny Diaries (Nicola Kraus & Emma McLaughlin) – Unfortunately this bestselling book didn’t turn into a box-office hit. Maybe it was a lack of promotion or maybe the casting was kind of questionable, ‘cos I personally didn’t imagine Scarlett Johansson while I was reading the book. And maybe it was also because the movie made several big changes in the screenplay. The heroine’s background was one of them, which is probably why I could not imagine Scarlett while I was reading the novel.

The book’s Nanny and the movie’s Annie came from different social backgrounds. I guess for the movie, they decided to make the heroine more attainable – a working class daughter of a New Jersey nurse who decides to get a nanny job in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. The book’s Nanny on the other hand was a Child Development Major at New York University. Her parents are wealthy and well-educated, so we see that the only reason for her in taking a professional baby-sitting job was due to a school requirement. Of course, the novel’s main point was Nanny’s own epiphany as she suddenly sees the ugly pores of her own wealthy world through the other side of the social spectrum. Annie in the movie on the other hand has the typical Maid in Manhattan story.

But despite all those differences, I still liked the book and the movie as well simply because they practically turned out to be two different optimistic stories.



2) The Devil Wears Prada (Lauren Weisberger) – Now this wasn’t only a compelling read, the film even gained an Oscar nomination. Can you believe that? An Oscar nomination off a chick flick? Who knew! Meryl Streep was PERFECT for the role. Oh Meryl happens to be one of my favorite actresses of all time and because of that I think I’m gonna feature my Fave Five Streep Flicks soon. Hehe.

Now this story is a certified classic chick lit. It’s got all the elements and clichés that we’ve talked about earlier. I could imagine my friends who are working at the Summit Media magazines as they nod in unison at each oh-I-can-relate-to-that moment in the movie. The closest I could come to sharing Andrea’s burdens is her BOSS. I’ve had my share of difficult bosses but I could never forget my very first boss. Although she was no Miranda Priestly, she was feisty and scary enough. But hey, I definitely learned a lot from her. And I have her to thank for paving the way of my career.



1) Bridget Jones’s Diary (Helen Fielding) – Helen Fielding started it all. I have mentioned in my earlier blogs that I related to Bridget Jones a lot in my single life before I became a Christian. Bad boyfriends. Bad habits. Body Images Issues. Biological Clock Threats. I shared Bridget’s disgust on marriage simply because it has not presented itself to me and to her for that matter. And of course that all changed. Hahaha! Bridget and I both came in terms with our issues and we got the happy endings that we deserved and waited for God knows how long. The only difference was, while Bridget stopped counting calories and ciggies, I met Christ and fell in love with Him instead. A much better ending I would have to say. And that is why this blog has a part 2...

What if Bridget went to Church?: Redeeming the Pink Pocketbooks thru Christian Chick Lit (CLICK HERE FOR THE BLOG SEQUEL)

Labeling Love

Before I became a Born-Again Christian, my dating history was relentless. I was literally out there in hot pursuit of “THE ONE” or “Mr. Right.” Unfortunately, all of them just turned out to be “Mr. Right Now” ‘til I met my husband of course. That’s another story altogether.

It was a crazy time. Yes, we were “dating” BUT labeling my “quasi-relationships” with these guys was always a big challenge, sometimes a curse. I wasn’t the only one in this predicament. This was the “norm” in my former non-C world. The case was usually like this: the “friendship” has certainly gone past being platonic; you’ve grown intimate yet there’s no commitment. So how would you call each other? Calling him your “boyfriend” would be assuming. But then, he’s obviously NOT JUST your buddy. Hmmm…

I was so aggravated with this “phenomenon” that I actually produced and wrote a 30-minute pop documentary entitled “Tayo Na Ba? Love and Sex Decoded” which was aired on MTV Philippines years ago. I gathered young adults – celebrities and regular people – and made a survey about their opinions and the realities that they’re encountering in relationships, dating and sex.

My research yielded that more and more of these non-Christian young adults are engaged in “non-committed” relationships. Hence, there’s always the trouble of defining it. In Pinoy pop culture, we only use boyfriend-girlfriend when the tandem has already gained the official stamp of validity. Any other “unofficial” hook-up would be safely called “MU” which could mean several things like Mutual Understanding, Murag Uyab (like sweethearts in Visayan language), Mag-Un (that’s funny) and my favorite term Malabong Usapan (meaning vague).

Actually, what moved me to write this entry was this article that I came across on the USA Today website entitled: Adults Stumble over what to call their Romantic Partners. The article stated that American adults, obviously known to mankind for cultivating sexual relationships outside marriage, are experiencing some quandary when it comes to describing their objects of affection.

Compared to us Filipinos, they have to struggle with more choices for titles such as: Significant Other, Partner, Lover, Boyfriend-Girlfriend, Live-In, Companion, Person I’m Dating/Seeing and many more. I know some cosmopolitan Manilenyos have also started using some of the above terms but that’s just a small fraction of the populace. The general consensus among us Pinoys is still bilateral: the couples announcing “Kami Na!” and the ones who are still in limbo and asking “Tayo Na Ba?”

My husband grew up Christian, while I didn’t so I always had to ask him about what was the dating scene like in church? Or among the Christians for that matter? Of course, he would be quick to answer that everything is Rated GP. Christians know that True Love Waits!

Sometimes I’d always wonder how it would have been if I grew up in church like him. I regret my dating history and God knows how much I have repented for it. By God’s GRACE I have been redeemed and restored.

Nowadays, I always worry about some of my friends who are still in limbo about their love lives. When I log into Friendster, I see more and more people with the “It’s Complicated!” status. I know exactly where they are right now in their dating dilemmas. And as someone who has BEEN THERE and DONE THAT, all I could say is – it’s either a YES or NO! Make him commit. If he can’t then cut it. And most importantly MAKE IT RIGHT!

We don’t actually need to be Born Again Christians to know that sex outside marriage is sin. We’ve all been sinners. We are all still sinners. But if we can straighten out our ways and try to do things right and LIVE RIGHT starting now then we would be able to spare ourselves from the agony. It’s never too late to make that change. It’s never too late to have a spiritual make-over. And I tell you, there’s really only one way to fix this love labeling limbo – have an intimate relationship with Christ first. When you’re in love with Jesus, it’s never complicated.

My Paradise in Pioneer Highlands

When I officially started working in 2000, I found my permanent address in Pioneer Street, Mandaluyong. From renting a “closet-sized” 20-sq. ft. studio apartment in Cityland to finally purchasing my very own 46 sq. ft. 1 BR condominium unit in Pioneer Highlands (popularly known as the Globe Tower). Both buildings were on the same street.

Actually, buying that condo unit was bit abrupt. I had a panic purchase after my Cityland room was broken in by robbers. The thieves got away with my precious wristwatch collection and some jewelry. The worse part was seeing my unit totally ransacked. I really felt violated. I just couldn’t see myself continuing my life in that building any longer. I had to leave. So in a matter of weeks, a real estate broker was lucky to find desperate me. At that time, I just wanted to find a SAFE place and true to form the security personnel at Pioneer Highlands were the strictest ones I have ever encountered. A deed of sale was inked without batting an eyelash.

Back then, Pioneer Street was merely part of a warehouse-village. There was nothing chic about it. My new condominium building which allegedly is also home to a lot of celebrities was the only pillar of posh-ness in that area. It’s amazing how Pioneer has grown to be a business/commercial district. Now, right across my condominium building, a cluster of Robinsons Realty properties have mushroomed for the past 2 years making the street one of the busiest areas during rush hour.

Pioneer Highlands was home to me for about 6 years. I nested in it. When I was still at Cityland, I just had a sofa bed and a personal ref. I started purchasing furniture, appliances and collected a lot of “abubut” when I finally got my own place. That’s why when I got married and my husband and I moved out, he was appalled that we actually brought out 36 boxes of “stuff” despite the fact that we didn’t take out the furniture and major appliances. Ang dami mong gamit! My husband exclaimed in disbelief. Clothes… CDs… DVDs… books… cooking ware… Kean’s toys/clothes… etc…

To make things worse, I wasn’t even able to help him because I got really sick that day when we were moving out. I had cramps, migraine, fever and asthma. My husband told me it must be a case of separation anxiety. He was probably right. As much as I was excited to move out and start a new life with him, I guess part of me didn’t want to leave yet.

Let me explain why we had to move out in the first place. First… with Kean still under my wing, my 1-bedroom condominium would not be appropriate anymore for the three of us. We had to find another place where Kean can have his own bedroom. Second… maintaining a condominium unit proved to be expensive, especially for Joseph’s standards. He and I wanted to adopt a much simpler lifestyle now that we’re Mr. and Mrs. Palarca. Third, we really wanted a place that's much closer to our church so we opted to move to Quezon City. And fourth… Joseph said that it was just right for us to begin our new life away from anything that would remind us of my past. Not that he couldn’t accept my so-called “past”, it was more about helping me to move on. Leaving my single-life abode was a perfect rite of passage for my new life as a wife.

Now that we’re in Quezon City, I sometimes miss my Pioneer condo – my 26th floor sunset view… the free gym (which I seldom use, hehe)… the pool… the 24 hour maintenance services… the generator that automatically works when there’s a black-out in the area… the security… Getting our groceries and catching the last full show was just a stroll away, with the mall right beside our building. If I was on tipid mode, the MRT station was just right across. Living there was really convenient.

However, I don’t regret renting it out. Leasing it out now actually augments our income. After some time finding the right tenants, our unit is now being rented by a nice couple; an Australian guy and a Filipino woman – newlyweds too who also got married last April, same month Joseph and I did. Talk about coincidence. They said they’ve been looking around for quite a while but the moment they saw my unit, they immediately felt that it was “home”. The guy said there was a certain cheerfulness to it. I thought maybe it was due to my Mediterranean yellow walls. And his wife even said that she has been dreaming about an ube-colored room, and lo and behold when she saw my bedroom. It was lavender.


We rented out the condo as a fully-furnished unit. It was a blessing to have this couple as our tenants because they were neat. Hehe. I was able to visit them a couple of times and I have to say that they kept the place in tip-top shape. They never ran out of good things to say about their stay in my place. In fact, they even called me the other day to announce that they’re already expecting a baby. The woman was ecstatic because as she is heading for her 40s, a pregnancy was definitely something they weren’t counting on. They said that the house must have been brimming with blessings when they came in and they got a whiff of it. Whoa, that made my heart swell. I did have both happy and sorrowful memories in that house but I have never looked at it that way. It has gone through seasons of melancholy and mirth but I have never ever thought that God was there.

Looking back now, it’s true that I did receive a lot of blessings while I was living there. The fact that I was able to acquire that unit was a miracle in itself plus a whole gamut of career opportunities and colorful experiences that knocked on my door. It just didn’t occur to me that they were “blessings”. I thought every accomplishment that I ever had was due to my own efforts.

"Everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by His power and everything is for His glory." ~Romans 11:36

So I guess my tenants were right. My house was indeed brimming with God’s blessings. I had a lot of hurt staining the walls of that place but God’s grace always painted it over with goodness. I just never bothered to acknowledge God’s splendid interior design in my house and in my heart.


I left everything for the tenant's use
except for "Lucy" my favorite yellow
Kitchenaid Mixer :-)