************************************************************************************
All I can say is… Thank you Lord! Finally! Another breakthrough in my life and I could not have done it without God! I know a lot of people are itching to hear the whole story of my wedding – the disasters, the drama and the bloopers! So this is it! It took me some days for me to recuperate and reflect on all the things that happened on the week of my wedding. It still feels like a dream to be actually “married”. It’s as if the wedding day didn’t happen yet. Honestly right now, I still have that natural urge to go over my wedding files. Imagine… all those months of meticulous planning, Excel-files frenzy, Internet research, sleepless nights, petty fights… all culminated in a bizarre, sweeping, surreal night. Just like that!
Again, God indeed revealed himself to “control-freak” me that He is the only Master Planner! He is the ultimate Wedding Day coordinator! He is the Author of my Wedding day story! And true enough, I always knew that God has a special fondness for me. I’m definitely not made for cliché. God made sure that our wedding would be “memorable!” And so naturally, Jill’s wedding day would not have been complete without the DRAMA and the DISASTER. :-)
I really don’t know where to start. WARNING: THIS IS GOING TO BE LOOOOONG.
Let’s just kick it off with that week leading to April 19. My WHOLE family (and I’m not exaggerating; that includes my complete set of cousins, titos, titas, and grandparents) from the States, Davao, Korea and London arrived much earlier than I had hoped for. I really would have wanted them to arrive much later because I needed the time and my workspace at home to finish up all my pending projects with Direk Rich and for Shall We Dance. Interestingly, I had the most number of projects during my wedding planning months! I know I asked God for financial provisions but I think I forgot to add “ease in workload” in my supplications. I was so mega-harassed and stressed-out. But of course, I had to finish my work. It was months of juggling work deadlines, wedding planning, taking care of Kean, church commitments and “saving” my relationship with Joseph.
MY BIG FAT PINOY WEDDING…
And so my family arrived and they seized the condo. That meant I could not work anymore so I had to give up 4 episodes of Shall We Dance. Sigh. That meant 1 month’s worth of income down the drain. However, prior to that I was already so distracted. A week or so leading to my wedding day, my mom had been putting so much pressure on me already. They were usually money issues so I won’t expound anymore. And the plot thickened when my sister arrived in the scene. In the middle of all the wedding stress between me and my mom, my sister had to butt in with her own mama issues. I got calls at 4AM. My sister and mom let out laments that they’re not attending the wedding anymore because they’re fighting. And I know mama too well that if she starts becoming stressed out she has this tendency to say “too much”. At the peak of her stress, she threatened to boycott the wedding because of my sister; and because she’s not ready to see my father. And then she goes on by saying that my wedding gown (which was being made at my aunt’s atelier in Davao) was ruined because my aunt’s seamstress didn’t know how to handle the silk georgette fabric; and that the entourage dresses don’t look pretty, etc etc… she just never ran out of negative things to say. She started to nitpick on every aspect of my wedding down to the lechon! I could not count how many times she reminded me if I had ordered lechon already.
At that point, I really could not understand why she was trying to sabotage my happiness. That was the time when I felt that my family probably didn't love me. Here I was all stressed out with my wedding preps and all they could think about was their Grand Vacation. Amidst all the preps, I had to squeeze in apartelle and transpo bookings for all of my relatives. And when I finally got them accommodations, I even got complaints instead of thanks. Sigh. There’s just no way pleasing them. I was really beginning to feel hurt and irked. It was as if my wedding was just a coincidence in their summer plans. But with God’s grace, and through prayers, I opened up my heart to the perspective that mama and the rest of my family are just SUPER excited. I know they just want this whole event to be perfect for everyone. Too bad that most of the time, their excitement eats the better of them.
Now that’s just on my side of the family. Joseph had his own family drama but I’ll leave it to him to tell his story. :-)
BECOMING BRIDEZILLA…
Since the beginning of my wedding preparation, I told myself that I will never be a Bridezilla. Joseph and I didn’t really want to get a wedding coordinator because we really are a Hands-On couple. We expected that the planning would be more tedious if we do it on our own but we felt that if we handed the reins over to a coordinator, it would be like getting a yaya for my newborn child. Sure that’s helpful but I don’t really want stranger’s arms cradling my baby. I sought help from friends for minor details but Joseph and I did all the diaper-changing for the wedding. Of course, weddings like new born babies can be unfathomable creatures at times. Joseph and I had our own fair share of petty fights, sleepless nights, and panic attacks (oh that was just me!)
But on the week leading to our wedding, the stress levels were just too high that the Bridezilla had to emerge. You know, I’m pretty easy to please. BUT that doesn’t mean I don’t hold certain standards. All the wedding details were pretty much in place except for the MUSIC. After months of budget consideration, we ended up with Cadenza Music Ensemble. I really haven’t heard of them. We only got them for personal reasons. Apple one of our church mates was the new vocalist. And one of the other soon-to-be-married couples in our church was also getting them so the recommendation was enough. Since we always wanted a personal connection to our suppliers, we decided to get them. Honestly, I already felt something fishy the moment I began arranging schedules with them. In one word, the perfect way to describe them was “Malabo!” I would like to exempt Apple from this because she was also not spared with problems with her own band on her own wedding! So the band (minus Apple) was “Malabo”. First, they were not even paying half an attention to my specific instructions and requests despite my emails, text and YM messages. I constantly communicated with them but they were just so impeccably impossible to deal with. But I managed to extend my patience up until 3 days before my wedding day. It has already been a hectic and stressful week. All I wanted to do that day was to listen and finalize the song sequencing according to the program. Imagine, Joseph and I had to travel all the way to Taytay, Rizal only to be utterly disappointed.
It was stressful enough that they had to arrange a rehearsal meeting for us in all places – Taytay! But it was okay. Up until that point, I was still hopeful that I’m paying good money for sheer talent and professionalism! Unfortunately, I was wrong. Despite the fact that I asked them to tell us their entire list of terms and conditions the first time we met… despite the fact that I was efficient in providing them with all the materials that they would need (the program sequence, list of our requested songs, MP3s of the songs, etc etc)… despite my on time payment… they let me down SO BADLY! First of all, their band leader didn’t even take the time to open his email to review the sequence guide and the song list. The band didn’t even take the time to rehearse. They said they don’t really have extra time to rehearse because they all have day jobs! Uhm, hello! Why did you form a band if you can’t live up to the demands of the job and the client? And then he LIED to me when he said that I did not need to worry because he can arrange the songs I requested OVERNIGHT! They LIED to us by saying that they can accommodate our requested songs at no extra cost. They told me all these LIES 3 WEEKS before the wedding. And then 3 DAYS before the wedding, when I asked him what happened to the significant songs that I requested, he suddenly said “cockily” that the band actually charges the client for extra songs to be arranged! And that he doesn’t have time anymore to make the arrangements for the new songs. At this point, I just became an erupting Krakatoa Volcano! He tells me this information 3 days before the wedding? How dare him! Tell me if I didn’t have an ounce of a right to turn into Bridezilla at that time? But by God’s grace, I did not turn into an actual full-blown Bridezilla. Oh but I was really furious. I did what I had to do. I stated my opinion and feelings right then and there to their face. With a restrained but sharp as a samurai voice, I told them they were unprofessional, liars, and not worth even half of a single penny of their talent fee! After that highly emotional meeting, I just decided to let go. How can I book another string quartet 3 days before the wedding? The down payment was already issued so I was stuck with them. I just prayed for God to play the music for us on our wedding day.
At that point, I was really beginning to feel weary. Stress from our family’s expectations and criticisms; dealing with difficult suppliers like Cadenza… No amount of dieting and aerobic work-out was good enough with the high levels of cortisol in my body! The more people around me pressured me on my slimming down for the wedding, the more I got fat because of the stress thinking about my “bloatedness”. The fact that my future mother-in-law is into a Jane Fonda regimen didn’t help at all. Adding insult to injury is the fact that Joseph’s sisters were all reed thin. PRESSURE!!! I was really starting to get annoyed when people kept on noticing and quipping “Huy tumaba ka!” Is it my problem that I can’t lose weight when I’m stressed out? Sometimes, people just can’t understand that not all people are built to respond to work-outs and diets. Yes, I know my face is becoming more like siopao so maybe can you stop pointing it out and maybe it will slim down? Sigh. Anyway, that was Bridezilla me in my head during those times.
I know I’m still leaving out other details and glitches that happened but honestly sa dami nila, I can’t even remember all of them anymore. The ones I’m putting here are the most unforgettable ones at least as far as I can remember.
The worst was yet to come on my wedding day!
BOUQUET-LESS BRIDE!
One of the special things about our wedding is the fact that a lot of my good friends and family members contributed to it. Later on I’ll say my thanks to everyone who added to the beauty of our wedding day! But for now, let me just tell you about the BIGGEST disappointment that happened on my one special day.
I considered Neil Tan as one of my best friends in this world. We’ve been through a lot and as far as I’m concerned, the Neil Tan I knew will not let his friend down. He was there with me all through those years; all through my sleepless crying brokenhearted nights. We know each other’s family drama. We know the nooks and crannies of each other’s love lives. But I would have to admit, I have seen some “alterations” in Neil’s personality and priorities for the past 2 years. But these changes didn’t occur to me until my wedding day disaster happened. Up until that time, I had good faith in my old friend.
Neil was one of those few people who really knew Jill and Joseph’s entire love story. He was there during the low points. So the moment I got engaged, it was but natural that he signed up for something to do on my wedding. He volunteered himself to do the flowers: my bouquet and the posies for the entourage. Of course I was happy and thankful to the Lord. Being a bride on a budget, any kind of help is indeed a blessing. Months into the wedding, we were always collaborating on the designs of the bouquet. In fact, 2 weeks before my wedding, he even confirmed the exact types of flowers he was gonna use and he couldn’t stop exclaiming in his text messages how excited he is already. And then, 4 days before the wedding we were still okay. I even defended him to my mom who made a bad comment about him. I remember my mom saying “Naku anak, sigurado ka ba diyan kay Neil? Mga bading pa naman hindi mapagkakatiwalaan!” I was really angry at my mom for saying those. At that point, we were still “at war” remember, so I resented her saying something like that about one of my best friends. Little did I know that this time my mother was FINALLY RIGHT!
Ate Teri Lacayanga was gracious enough to accept wedding day coordinator duties for us. So a week before the wedding, we already gave her all the contact and supplier contract details. I know she didn’t want to upset me that’s why Neil’s “no reply” to all her calls and text messages didn’t reach me until on the wedding day itself. Ate Teri apologized for disturbing me that day. I was already at my hotel room waiting for my hair and make-up team when her messages came in. Neil Tan has been MIA for days now. Suddenly, a chill ran down my spine. My stomach turned. And I was slowly feeling some fever creeping into my body. I asked Roche to run to Neil’s condo to check on him. The guard said their log book showed that he was last seen going out of the building on April 17. Where in the world is Neil Tan?
At that point, I could not believe that Neil would be doing that to me – and of all days – on my wedding! His phone was ringing but he was not picking up. That’s when bizarre ideas came to me. Like I told you earlier, I’ve been noticing some slight changes in his personality. Recently, he’s been PARTYING a lot and mingling with strangers pretending to be friends… he’s been drinking a lot too…. Many times I tried to share the gospel with him but he wouldn’t budge. But despite all that, I stuck by him even if I was not pleased with his lifestyle. I was just there ready to listen to his laments because he did that for me before. So at that point, I didn’t know what I would want to hear. I don’t know what would be worse? To learn that he got into a drinking overdose or worse a drug accident? Or to learn that he just suddenly skipped town for work and didn’t even have the slightest ounce of courtesy to tell me about it? Either way it was bad. Either way it hurt. Either way it ruined my wedding. So there. I DIDN’T HAVE FLOWERS FOR ME & MY ENTOURAGE ON MY WEDDING and there was nothing I could do but lock myself up in my suite bathroom and cry. To top it all off, my mom arrived at my room and the moment she found out about Neil and the flowers… you guessed it… I got a stern “I TOLD YOU SO!” And I hated my mom even more for saying that.
On the way to the venue, I knew there was something wrong with me already. Either I was going to throw up in tension, sadness, stress or worse, develop hives. I know myself too well that if I get EXTREMELY STRESSED OUT, my allergies would act up. And true enough, by the time Joseph and I said I DO and KISSED… my rashes erupted on my skin and spread all over my legs, arms, and torso. But God is still GOOD because he didn’t allow any red spot to touch my face.
Until now, I still didn’t know what happened to Neil. I know he knows what he has done. I’m just waiting for him to come up to me and tell me his side of the story. I’m willing to listen. Although I can’t really believe that someone I have considered one of my trusted friends could not be trusted at all. Of all the days that he had to hurt me – it was my wedding day!
But despite that GOD IS GOOD! Because one person may have cursed it but MORE PEOPLE were blessings. And the next items on this blog are my sincerest shout-outs and happy thanks to the following people…
GOD BLESS THESE PEOPLE…
To all the people who attended and shared their blessings with us – THANK YOU SO MUCH! I kinda feel bad that some of my friends who I considered important (ahem Zharon Japitana) didn’t go and didn’t even tell me that something came up. I always believe in the saying “Pag gusto laging may paraan. Pag ayaw maraming dahilan.” Joseph and I were so overwhelmed that even my friends from Japan Jun and Tonette Collado were able to come home and see their “sseayp daughter” get married. Not to mention that Joseph’s officemate/friend Ronald Rabo and his wife Janess didn’t even finish the wedding they were also attending that day in Cagayan de Oro. The couple flew to CDO in the morning, attended a wedding ceremony and then flew out to Manila to see us Joseph and Jill tie the knot. :-) Even Lucy Torres managed to take time out of her busy schedule to see the ceremony atleast… See… it’s all about the heart! It’s people like them who inspire you to do good to other people too.
Moving on…
Contrary to what my mom was bickering about, my dress came out like how I wanted it to be. I just wanted a simple gown. Not too many bead work. No long trains. No balloon ball gowns. Eh si mama stuck in the ‘80s pa yata and wants me to look like a Santo Nino. But anyway, the dresses turned out to be pretty and mama naman said sorry for being negative about the dresses. She said she was just pressured that people might not like it so inunahan na nya. Nyek. SUPER THANKS TO Jhayar Magdaleno, my designer/seamstress. He even did some “magic” to my dress for the dance. And to the “walang-tulugan” sewing staff of Raquel’s Apparel.
My make-up was done by the very generous Jerome Chang (make-up artist to Lucy Torres and Vicki Belo and all other stars). I’m so grateful to him for giving me a MAJOR discount in the hair and make-up package. Imagine he’s the make-up artist to the stars. I definitely could not afford him hehe but God is so GRACIOUS that he touched Jerome’s generous heart.
And then there’s my ever reliable kumare Avie Tumbaga who supplied all the delicious smelling kapeng barako coffee beans for the wedding favors. Thank you to Maca Miro and Arlyn Lapuz who were so diligent in calling up all the guests for their RSVPs. And then there’s Sarah Palarca, my sister-in-law who went to Tabora market to source out the jute bags to be used for the wedding favors. And then there’s Queenie Palarca and her fellowship mates Mae Simon and Winwin who spend one long afternoon in my cndo to put together the coffee bean bag favors. And of course, I can’t say thank you enough to Ate Gloria Avante, our senior pastor’s wife who was so gracious in hosting my bridal shower at her home. She even dressed up her lanai like a Balinese spa and of course she whipped up a mouth-watering Asian salad and chili garlic chicken! Yum yum!
My friend for 17 years now, Muree Cua-Arcega made our rings and she gave it to us for an unimaginable low price. Speaking of rings, my sister Angelie Villanueva even paid for them. And of course, another good friend who surprisingly didn’t let me down this time is Arleen Bacay. She took our beautiful outdoor pre-nup photos that were used in the wedding programs, note cards, and favors. Even my director Rich Ilustre was generous enough to lend his 3CCD professional video camera for our wedding AVP shoot. Ryllah Berico, another good friend took time out of her busy schedule to sit down and edit our AVP. The AVP was terrific. Unfortunately, it was one of the casualties during the wedding reception. When it was about time to play, the LCD projector bogged down. Sayang talaga. The AVP was really beautiful. (You can view it here instead)
And so while the AVP bogged down, the program was greatly salvaged by two of my favorite people who emceed that night – Kate Lacson and Roy Molon! I heard a lot of guests say that my wedding reception was one of the funnest they have ever experienced. Kate, through time, I always knew you would do anything for a friend. Thank you to Kris Tan, one of Joseph’s fellowship mates, for running to the nearest pharmacy to get me some antihistamine for my allergies. And of course, running the whole show that day was superwoman herself Ate Teri Lacayanga! And of course another really dependable person on that day is Armie Collado of Blue Gardens.
Special thanks to Pastor Nicky Joya and his wife Sally. You are indeed more than marriage counselors – YOU ARE TRUE FRIENDS who are willing to lend us your time, ears, and hands. :-) Thank you for counseling us through the wedding preps.
But I would have to say that the biggest SUPERHEROES of that day were the ever reliable couple Paul and Grace Atienza and that nice lady who owns PACIFIC BLOOMS on Examiner Street! Paul as Joseph’s best friend and best man came to the rescue when they heard that my flowers didn’t go through. We knew it was a long shot for a florist to make a wedding bouquet 3 hours before the wedding but Paul and Grace tried their luck with Pacific Blooms. It was quite a high-class flower shop so the price range was quite steep. And since we weren’t prepared for a disaster like this, the contingency money was limited. But GOD once again performed a miracle. The lady who owned the shop was very compassionate and even shared that she had a similar situation with her flowers on her wedding years ago before she became a florist. Because she could relate, Ms. Pacific Blooms made my bouquet herself with the most beautiful pink and white Ecuadorian roses! In the nick of time, the bouquet was delivered to my doorstep. I was overwhelmed. The sight of roses had never made me cry like this before!
So there… I HAD A BEAUTIFUL BOUQUET OF PINK AND WHITE ROSES when I walked down the aisle.
People said they didn’t notice that the entourage girls and the ninangs/mothers didn’t have flowers with them. All in all, despite the STRESS ALLERGIES, the bloopers, the glitches… etc etc… IT WAS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I GOT MARRIED TO THE ONE I LOVE.
Looking back, Joseph and I are at loss for words to our Almighty God for this gift. He could have decided to make the wedding NOT HAPPEN ENTIRELY but God wanted our wedding to be meaningful. With every disaster that Joseph and I faced, we became more in love with each other and we became more faithful in the Lord.
“When I look at the night sky and we see the work of your fingers – the moon and the stars you have set in place – what are mortals that you should think of us, mere humans that you should care for us?” PSALM 8:3-4
Of course, we would like to thank our families and parents especially my mom. I know she loves me. It’s just that she really has this weird way of showing it. :-) But I know she meant well. Nothing but perfection for her daughter.
Our wedding was filled with tears, rollicking laughter, and yes some allergies! :-) And God as the author of our love story sure didn’t want to make a mere telenovela. It had to end like a romantic comedy.
No comments:
Post a Comment